Friday, September 16, 2011

For My Husband on His Birthday

My husband's birthday is tomorrow and as I bake his chocolate cupcakes with chocolate ganache frosting and prepare for the festivities of tomorrow, I am reminded to take a moment and think of all the reasons I love and appreciate Kyle Kerby.

1. The first thing that drew me to him was his genuine kindness and care for a complete stranger. He is a far better person than I am.

2. I remember watching him worship and being struck by the fact that he wasn't putting on a show.

3. He is a gentleman.

4. His sense of style. :)

5. His laugh when he is truly enjoying himself.

6. The way he treats his mother.

7. The way he honors me.

8. His silliness....even though it does annoy me at times. ;)

9. The way he takes care of me.

10. The times he surprises me with the little things; like flowers, a new book, or coming home from work early.

11. His ability to show emotion.

12. He is very talented in a plethora of things. He knows more than he thinks he does and would never tell you.

13. He is humble.

14. He is intelligent.

15. When I hear him pray, talk about God, or stand up for his convictions, I am incredibly encouraged.

16. The way he loves his dog. :)

17. He is selfless.

18. He is loyal and faithful.

19. He is honest.

20. He's not perfect but he's perfect for me.

Being married to Kyle is teaching me a great deal about myself. Marriage tends to put a spot light on a person's imperfections because you realize how selfish and ungodly you really are. But at the same time, marriage shows you how great of a need there is to be close to Jesus. Thanks to my husband and our marriage, I am being sanctified and, little by little, becoming more like Jesus. It will take a lifetime which is why "I am my beloved's and he is mine". . .for a lifetime.

Thanks for being my husband, Kyle. I love you!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Hurt 2.0: Inside the World of Today's Teenagers

Chap Clark has provided some of the best resources for a look into today’s youth culture because he has done years of research by conducting surveys, interviews, and observing teenage environments. One of the books that have grown out of this research is Hurt 2.0, which is a follow up to the original Hurt that was published in 2004. Clark wrote Hurt 2.0 to reiterate what he has discovered and to hopefully reach more people with this very important information concerning a very crucial group of our society.

Hurt 2.0 consists of three parts, the first one being “The Changing Adolescent World.” In chapter one Clark first introduces and defines what adolescence is and how it has changed. Then, in chapter two, he defines and describes the primary, essential issue of today’s adolescents, which is that of systemic abandonment. The result of abandonment, which is something he calls “the world beneath,” is discussed in chapter three.

Part two is “The Landscape of the World Beneath” where twelve different units of the world beneath are discussed. Peers, school, family, sports, sex, busyness, stress, ethics, morality, partying, gaming, and social networking are some of the most important units to look at to see how the issue of abandonment has affected adolescent development in these areas. Clark provides information based on his research, gives scenarios that he has encountered, and shares pieces of conversations to give his readers an understanding of each unit from the point of view of an adolescent.

In this edition, Clark adds a chapter about “kids at the margins.” Here he takes a look at how vulnerable (under privileged) and privileged kids are affected by abandonment. He concludes that their development and experiences are quite different from the average, mainstream adolescent yet their needs and the results of abandonment are still the same.

In part three, “Where Do We Go from Here?” Clark shares three major needs of adolescents which all come down to one over arching need, the need for genuinely caring adults. And finally, Clark gives five strategies on how to turn the tide of systemic abandonment. Each one consists of adults taking an interest, understanding, and advocating for the adolescents that are within their reach.

I have read many of Chap Clark’s books and I have not found one that I do not like; Hurt 2.0 is no exception. His viewpoint on adolescent development and systemic abandonment confirmed for me what I had always suspected. Adults have systemically abandoned the young for the sake of their own agendas and, having left adolescents to figure out life on their own, have heaped expectations and developmentally damaging situations upon them.

Though the research part of Clark’s project may seem cold, he also writes from personal experience and involvement as a father and a volunteer. And though he is confident in his position he is also sensitive towards both the adult mindset and the adolescent’s world. He does not take sides but does claim to be an advocate for adolescents and shows genuine compassion and concern for them. He balances facts and emotions very well and gives a well-organized, well thought out, researched, and heart-pulling glimpse into the world of today’s teenager. He builds his argument well by beginning with the basics and then taking us deeper into the teenage world and giving realistic examples of how abandonment has affected youth.

I also love the way he respects teenagers through his honesty when he has made a mistake and his ability to speak out for them. He does not downplay the struggles, emotions, and confusing worldview of adolescents. And as hard as it is to learn the truth of why teenagers are the way they are today, Clark accepts it and implores the rest of adult society to accept it as well.

Like I have already stated, reading Clark’s books confirmed for me the view that I have been developing over the past few years, but after reading Hurt 2.0 I realized something. A question began to creep into my mind. How realistic is Clark’s solution to the issue of abandonment? I completely agree that adolescents need solid relationships with adults who will invest in them and that the lack there of has created a longer period of adolescence and has caused teenagers to find a way to survive on their own. What I am not so sure about is the solution of creating a seemingly idealistic environment where all adolescents are treated with equality and fairness. I am not saying that I do not want this for our teenagers. What I am saying is that that kind of environment is not realistic and will never exist.
Take sports for example. Clark claims that by the time adolescents reach high school their athletic role has already been decided. There are students who have and those who have not. There are those who can perform and deliver the results the coach, school, and parents want and then there are those who simply cannot. The fact that sports are so competitive now and no longer fun hurts the physic of adolescents. The solution that Clark gives it to allow each player an equal amount of playing time and for the non-athletes to be given the same opportunities as the athletes. I wish this were possible but it is not. Our world does not work that way.

I do admit that I may have misunderstood Clark’s position but I do think that we would agree that the issues adolescents face will never go away. In fact, Clark did state that since writing Hurt things have only gotten worse for adolescents and the amount of caring adults has diminished. That is discouraging and disheartening, especially since the solution to systemic abandonment is unattainable. However, a change, a shift in the right direction, however so small, is possible. This shift can happen with each adult, parent, teacher, coach, and youth worker that does choose to put off their own selfish agenda and invest himself or herself in the life of a teenager. For that reason, I would recommend this book to every adult who would be willing to read it. I believe that this book brings up a ton of vital information that adults need to know in order to begin to understand the world in which adolescents live. This book answers the “what is wrong with kids today?” question and though the answer may be something adults do not want to hear it is nonetheless true. It is important that adults read this book, or at least be presented with this information in some way, so that the before mentioned shift can begin to occur.

There are many concepts within this book that can be applied to life very easily, especially since Clark illustrated these concepts with real life situations, conversations, notes, and poems from existing adolescents. The concept I want to look at though is one of the strategies Clark gives to turn the tide of abandonment. The one that stood out to me was the one that stated, “Those who work with youth should be trained in the changing youth culture.” I whole-heartedly agree with Clark that this is very important. I have seen the importance of this more and more over the years as I have observed youth pastors and workers with their youth groups. Youth pastors tend to have passion, zeal, excitement, and a lot of plans but they fail to understand the true need of adolescents. They fail to look beyond the games, the pizza, the lock-ins, and the flashy events. This concept also applies to parents and teachers who may have good intentions but who have no idea how their adolescents feel, think, and what they encounter on a day-to-day basis.

I believe a way to train these youth pastors, workers, parents and teachers, is for those who have already been trained to offer seminars, classes, or conferences. I believe that there are already some options out there but I think it would be especially helpful for churches to have small groups that are specifically for parents of teenagers, high school teachers, and youth workers where the information and concepts from this book are discussed. Of course, these small groups would have to be lead by people who have already been trained and are thus qualified to lead such a group. This is something I would like to see happen though as I believe it would be very beneficial. 

Youth culture and this concept of abandonment are not easy to understand and accept but for the sake of our young we must begin to care, to invest, and to reach out. I am thankful for the research Chap Clark has done and continues to do and for the resources that he has provided, such as Hurt 2.0. My hope is that the information that this book contains will spread and continue to develop so that, little by little, adolescents can have a voice again.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Meet My Favorite Hip Hop Artist

Have you ever heard of Lecrae? If you haven't you need to go to YouTube right now and listen to one of his songs. 

Have you done it yet? Go! Do it now!

Seriously...you can't read any further until you do. I suggest "God is Enough." If you can't understand the lyrics, look them up on Google.

Lecrae is the best rapper and it's not because he raps well, though he does....I assume...I wouldn't really know being a white girl. 

The reason he's the best is because of his lyrics. His lyrics are solid. Why? Because he raps theology. What? Did you read that right? Yes, he raps theology, reformed theology. He raps Truth and it's clear that he does it not for himself but for the glory of God. His testimony is awesome, his humility is convicting, and his unashamed declaration of the Gospel is encouraging. God has given him a great gift and is using it to spread His Truth. I think it's awesome how God uses the things of the world, such as misfits and hip hop, to build His Kingdom. 

They said You came for the lame,
I'm the lamest
I made a mess
But You say You'll erase it
I'll take it

They say You came for the lame,
I'm the lamest
I broke my life but You say You'll replace it
I'll take it

- Just Like You by Lecrae



Check out this great interview with Lecrae and Trip Lee to learn more about Lecrae and his ministry.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Ecclesiastes and the Gospel of John

I have a confession to make.

I don't read my Bible as often as I should. I don't know what it is about doing the things I should do but they are never as easy to do as they sound. I mean, I pick up and read books all the time with little effort. Yet, to read my Bible, I have to make myself do it. I have to make a conscious effort. That doesn't seem right and I know it is something I need to work on. The Word of God should be something I crave yet I leave it sitting on my bedside table day after day. After long periods of not reading my Bible I do begin to thirst for it so I begin reading, everyday, for a about a week or so. It doesn't last very long.

When I do go to read, like today for instance, I always seem to find myself opening up to the book of Ecclesiastes or the Gospel of John. I have read the Bible in its entirety and I find awesome truth in every book but there is just something about Ecclesiastes and John.

The book of Ecclesiastes is very poetic which is something I appreciate. I love the way it is written and how it seems to be a struggle all the way up until the end when the simple conclusion is this: "fear God and keep His commandments for He will bring every act under judgement" (my paraphrase).  I love that because I used to write poetry and most of my poetry was very sorrowful. I have always been one to embrace sadness and feelings of hopelessness. I loved to write a poem that was full of sorrow and a sense of lost and then at the end put in a little ray of hope. I think that's why I like Ecclesiastes so much. Life is futile, pointless, the book says. Yet at the end we find a purpose and we find a bit of hope. The purpose is to fear God and keep His commandments and the hope is that He will judge every act whether it be good or evil. To me, that's the reality of life. Life is hard, hurtful, and sometimes there is a sense of hopelessness yet I know that, as a follow of Christ, I have a purpose and a hope. To me, that's beautiful.

Courtesy of Still Light Media
The Gospel of John is another favorite for three reasons: the perspective of the Gospel given, chapter 17, and the mentions of the disciple whom Jesus loved. Of the four Gospels John is the oddball. (I tend to love anything that is unusual, different, and out of the ordinary). All you have to do is take a look at the beginning of John and it's obvious that it is not like the others. (Which is why Matthew, Mark, and Luke are called the synoptic Gospels). The book gives a different perspective of the Gospel and it is quite interesting to study. When reading John a few years ago chapter 17 really stood out to me. In this chapter Jesus is praying for His disciples and it is so moving. Anytime I read it I feel closer to God because Jesus wasn't just praying for the twelve but for everyone who would believe; that includes me. That's crazy to think about but Jesus prayed that all His disciples would be one with each other and one with Himself and the Father. Just to read Jesus' words to the Father is awesome but to know that He was beseeching God on behalf of His followers is even better; it makes it personal and real. Another thing about the book of John is the mention of "the disciple whom Jesus loved." This has always been fascinating to me. Who this disciple was is debated yet unknown but the traditional belief is that it was John himself. Another theory I have heard is that the disciple was Lazarus which is an interesting theory but only a theory. The fact that this title of "the disciple whom Jesus loved" even existed is interesting to me. And it is even more interesting that it was this disciple who wrote the book of John (check out John 21:24). I would like to believe that this disciple is indeed the apostle John (the same John who traditionally wrote 1st, 2nd, and 3rd John and Revelation). However, there is no way to truly know. The fact that there was such a disciple is intriguing and I love the way he ends his book, "And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself would not contain the books that would be written" (John 21:25). I must say, "Mr. Beloved Disciple, I like your style."

So, if you're like me and you haven't read your Bible in a while, pick it up, dust it off, and dive into one of these books. You may find yourself going back for a second, third, or 100th read.