Hello readers!
If any of you are interested in gardening and producing your own veggies, herbs and greens, you should check out White Harvest Seed Company! They are a family owned business based in Missouri. They own a farm where they grow their own produce and are passionate about encouraging people to better feed their families with self-grown produce which they have termed "a simplier, more self-sufficient way of life." White Harvest is run by a good friend of mine and her family so I am confident they know what they are talking about! They offer seeds, gardening books, antiques and more on their website. They also offer as a free service to design your garden layout! If I had my own place and the time to do it I would totally be hooked! Please check them out!
You can find and follow them on Facebook as White Harvest Seed Company.
The website is:
www.whiteharvestseed.com
Happy gardening! :)
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep...
...and I lie there for hours, awake, unable to sleep.
This has been my experience for the past few weeks and it is getting very old. At first I was just hoping it was a temporary thing because sleep trouble has always been an issue for me but it seems to come and go. This has lasted for weeks though. I lie there, tired and yawning, but unable to fall asleep. It's usually sometime between 3 and 5 when I finally fall asleep and then I don't wake up til sometime between 12 and 1. This sleeping pattern is screwing up my days and making me feel very emotional and cranky. It's not even restful sleep because I'm still tired and low on energy all day. It's so frustrating because there seems to be no easy solution. Tylenol PM will knock me out but I can't be taking that every night. I've done some research and there doesn't seem to be any safe sleep aid because there are side affects and always the possibility of becoming dependant on pills. Not being able to fall alseep runs in my family among the women. My mom and all my sisters struggle with it as well. I'm not sure what the reason is for each of them but it seems to be our inability to turn our minds off at night. I know that's what it is for me for sure. I have an overactive mind that will NOT stop thinking. Even when I try to focus on just one thought that just leads to other thoughts without me even realizing it at first. It just makes me frustrated, tense, stressed out and upset. It bothers me that I can't just lay down and be asleep within twenty minutes like I'm suppose to. I've looked up different things I can do to help me fall asleep faster and get better sleep but none of them are very convienant. If I've been laying in bed for 15 minutes I'm suppose to get out of bed and do something else without any bright lights or stimulating activity. How is that even possible...especially with other people in the house whom I don't want to wake or bother. I'm not suppose to watch TV before bed but that's the only time Kyle and I have time to watch Lost which is something we're doing together. I'm suppose to go to bed at the same time every night but that restricts my ability to be flexible and spend time with my husband. Plus, I don't like to go to bed without Kyle and he isn't use to going to sleep at 10 or 11 o'clock at night. Last night I got in bed at 9 because I was so frustrated and upset and just wanted/needed a normal night's sleep. Two hours later I was still awake and feeling awful. Kyle came to bed to try to help me and I was able to relax but still could not fall asleep. So Kyle found a recording of a thunderstorm and set it to run for an hour. Interestingly enough that actually helped because it gave my mind something neutral to focus on. Normally my mind will run everywhere and focus only on thoughts and memories that upset me. I guess I don't have very good control of my mind but I don't know what to do about that either. I'll probably keep using the thunderstorm noise to focus on and see if it makes any difference over the next few nights. I also found a Bible verse to memorize and recite to myself over and over. It did help one night. I just can't keep this kind of sleep pattern up and I've become extremely irritated by it. It makes me stressed out, depressed, and completely worn out. Please pray for me.
"I will lie down and sleep peacefully, for you, Lord, make me safe and secure." - Psalm 4:8
This has been my experience for the past few weeks and it is getting very old. At first I was just hoping it was a temporary thing because sleep trouble has always been an issue for me but it seems to come and go. This has lasted for weeks though. I lie there, tired and yawning, but unable to fall asleep. It's usually sometime between 3 and 5 when I finally fall asleep and then I don't wake up til sometime between 12 and 1. This sleeping pattern is screwing up my days and making me feel very emotional and cranky. It's not even restful sleep because I'm still tired and low on energy all day. It's so frustrating because there seems to be no easy solution. Tylenol PM will knock me out but I can't be taking that every night. I've done some research and there doesn't seem to be any safe sleep aid because there are side affects and always the possibility of becoming dependant on pills. Not being able to fall alseep runs in my family among the women. My mom and all my sisters struggle with it as well. I'm not sure what the reason is for each of them but it seems to be our inability to turn our minds off at night. I know that's what it is for me for sure. I have an overactive mind that will NOT stop thinking. Even when I try to focus on just one thought that just leads to other thoughts without me even realizing it at first. It just makes me frustrated, tense, stressed out and upset. It bothers me that I can't just lay down and be asleep within twenty minutes like I'm suppose to. I've looked up different things I can do to help me fall asleep faster and get better sleep but none of them are very convienant. If I've been laying in bed for 15 minutes I'm suppose to get out of bed and do something else without any bright lights or stimulating activity. How is that even possible...especially with other people in the house whom I don't want to wake or bother. I'm not suppose to watch TV before bed but that's the only time Kyle and I have time to watch Lost which is something we're doing together. I'm suppose to go to bed at the same time every night but that restricts my ability to be flexible and spend time with my husband. Plus, I don't like to go to bed without Kyle and he isn't use to going to sleep at 10 or 11 o'clock at night. Last night I got in bed at 9 because I was so frustrated and upset and just wanted/needed a normal night's sleep. Two hours later I was still awake and feeling awful. Kyle came to bed to try to help me and I was able to relax but still could not fall asleep. So Kyle found a recording of a thunderstorm and set it to run for an hour. Interestingly enough that actually helped because it gave my mind something neutral to focus on. Normally my mind will run everywhere and focus only on thoughts and memories that upset me. I guess I don't have very good control of my mind but I don't know what to do about that either. I'll probably keep using the thunderstorm noise to focus on and see if it makes any difference over the next few nights. I also found a Bible verse to memorize and recite to myself over and over. It did help one night. I just can't keep this kind of sleep pattern up and I've become extremely irritated by it. It makes me stressed out, depressed, and completely worn out. Please pray for me.
"I will lie down and sleep peacefully, for you, Lord, make me safe and secure." - Psalm 4:8
Thursday, September 23, 2010
The Things I Ask Myself
1. Why does Dad, being a 50 something year old man, fail to clean up after himself?
2. Why am I the only one who puts the toilet paper roles in their holders instead of just putting them on the counter like everyone else in this house.
3. Why am I the only one who puts things where they belong?
4. Why does Trudy follow me everywhere I go?
5. Why is it that people think that just wiping a disinfectant wipe over a surface makes it clean?
6. Why do people eat cheese out of a can? That's nasty.
7. Why does it take me 2 hours to cook a stinkin meal?!
8. Why don't students pay attention in class and read their syllabus so they know what the heck they're doing?! It's really not that hard people.
9. Am I the only one who schedules out her day point by point?
10. Why does Kyle pile his stuff on the dresser instead of putting it back where he found it or finding a proper place for it?
The answer to these questions is simple: My mom. Now that I have more responsibilities and things and people to take care of, I find myself functioning the same way my Mom did when I was young. The way I am, the way I clean the house, the way I cook from scratch, the way I learn, is all because of the way my mom raised me. I was brought up to clean up after myself, to put the toilet paper role in the holder (that's what it's there for afterall), to put things in their place because everything HAS a place (my shoes go in the cloest because the living room or bedroom floor is NOT the closet). I was brought up to clean hardcore. We didn't mop. We filled a bucket with hot water and vinegar, moved the furnature to the other room, got down on our hands and knees and scrubbed the floor until it was clean. My mom never bought that squirt cheese. We ate real cheese. The only thing to eat out of a squirt bottle like that is whipped cream. It takes me two hours to cook a meal because I wasn't brought up on premade meals (plus I'm still learning). I was taught to pay attention in class, to be thorough and to be disciplined. I schedule my days because that's what my mom did. She made lists, kept a calendar, and I inherited that from her. If there were chores to be done she would make a list and designate each of us to a chore. I couldn't function without a detailed schedule and my lists of things to do. And as far as the piling goes, I can't really blame Kyle...I used to be in the habit of making piles too just because there was always so little space which is the problem here too...but when things DO have a place they need to be put back there!! I hate clutter!! haha Anyway...it's just interesting how the way I was brought up influences the way I am now. My mom pounded these things into me for years and I'll probably be pounding them into my kids one day too. Thanks, Mom! Maybe one day your grandkids will thank you too...if they're so fornuate to inherit, that is. ;)
2. Why am I the only one who puts the toilet paper roles in their holders instead of just putting them on the counter like everyone else in this house.
3. Why am I the only one who puts things where they belong?
4. Why does Trudy follow me everywhere I go?
5. Why is it that people think that just wiping a disinfectant wipe over a surface makes it clean?
6. Why do people eat cheese out of a can? That's nasty.
7. Why does it take me 2 hours to cook a stinkin meal?!
8. Why don't students pay attention in class and read their syllabus so they know what the heck they're doing?! It's really not that hard people.
9. Am I the only one who schedules out her day point by point?
10. Why does Kyle pile his stuff on the dresser instead of putting it back where he found it or finding a proper place for it?
The answer to these questions is simple: My mom. Now that I have more responsibilities and things and people to take care of, I find myself functioning the same way my Mom did when I was young. The way I am, the way I clean the house, the way I cook from scratch, the way I learn, is all because of the way my mom raised me. I was brought up to clean up after myself, to put the toilet paper role in the holder (that's what it's there for afterall), to put things in their place because everything HAS a place (my shoes go in the cloest because the living room or bedroom floor is NOT the closet). I was brought up to clean hardcore. We didn't mop. We filled a bucket with hot water and vinegar, moved the furnature to the other room, got down on our hands and knees and scrubbed the floor until it was clean. My mom never bought that squirt cheese. We ate real cheese. The only thing to eat out of a squirt bottle like that is whipped cream. It takes me two hours to cook a meal because I wasn't brought up on premade meals (plus I'm still learning). I was taught to pay attention in class, to be thorough and to be disciplined. I schedule my days because that's what my mom did. She made lists, kept a calendar, and I inherited that from her. If there were chores to be done she would make a list and designate each of us to a chore. I couldn't function without a detailed schedule and my lists of things to do. And as far as the piling goes, I can't really blame Kyle...I used to be in the habit of making piles too just because there was always so little space which is the problem here too...but when things DO have a place they need to be put back there!! I hate clutter!! haha Anyway...it's just interesting how the way I was brought up influences the way I am now. My mom pounded these things into me for years and I'll probably be pounding them into my kids one day too. Thanks, Mom! Maybe one day your grandkids will thank you too...if they're so fornuate to inherit, that is. ;)
Sunday, September 19, 2010
My Beloved
"My beloved is mine and I am his...." - Song of Solomon 2:16a
There are times when I get so caught up in the things I have to do that I forget to count my husband as a blessing. Sometimes I focus so much on my goals for the day or the week that I put on tunnel vision and simply live to meet those goals. Sometimes I get so caught up that I forget to greet my husband with a smile and a kiss. I get frustrated and tired and cranky that I'll take it out on him because he's there. I'm not sure what snaps me out of it but there are times when I remember how much of a blessing Kyle is. His birthday did it to me this time. He turned 27 on Friday and all week he acted like a kid. He kept begging Mom for his presents and was so excited about his birthday. It got kind of annoying after a while but we all ended up enjoying the day. I kept thinking about how blessed I am that I can celebrate the day my husband was born. I'm so thankful that God gave Kyle life and then after 26 years He gave him to me. I am amazed again and again how perfectly Kyle and I are made for each other. We don't always see eye to eye but I could not have another man as a husband. Kyle is so patient and understanding. He is just what I need and God knows that very well. When everything settles down for the day and I begin to *try* to relax, I see and feel him sitting there next to me and I remember to cherish him. I remember to be grateful for the ability to cuddle up next to him, hold his hand, talk to him. I adore him in a way that every wife should adore her husband. I hope that after 20, 30, 40 and more years of marriage that I will still adore him. I never want to be the kind of wife that speaks bad of her husband. I believe wives should speak truthfully (because I understand the need to vent) but not in a disrepectful, unloving way. I've heard wives talk about their husbands and rarely do I hear them say how much they love and adore them. I hope that I never become that kind of wife - mad, bitter and exhausted. Kyle is a great husband and I love him so much. I am so thankful for his life and his love. He is my beloved and I am his...and I am so incredibly blessed.
There are times when I get so caught up in the things I have to do that I forget to count my husband as a blessing. Sometimes I focus so much on my goals for the day or the week that I put on tunnel vision and simply live to meet those goals. Sometimes I get so caught up that I forget to greet my husband with a smile and a kiss. I get frustrated and tired and cranky that I'll take it out on him because he's there. I'm not sure what snaps me out of it but there are times when I remember how much of a blessing Kyle is. His birthday did it to me this time. He turned 27 on Friday and all week he acted like a kid. He kept begging Mom for his presents and was so excited about his birthday. It got kind of annoying after a while but we all ended up enjoying the day. I kept thinking about how blessed I am that I can celebrate the day my husband was born. I'm so thankful that God gave Kyle life and then after 26 years He gave him to me. I am amazed again and again how perfectly Kyle and I are made for each other. We don't always see eye to eye but I could not have another man as a husband. Kyle is so patient and understanding. He is just what I need and God knows that very well. When everything settles down for the day and I begin to *try* to relax, I see and feel him sitting there next to me and I remember to cherish him. I remember to be grateful for the ability to cuddle up next to him, hold his hand, talk to him. I adore him in a way that every wife should adore her husband. I hope that after 20, 30, 40 and more years of marriage that I will still adore him. I never want to be the kind of wife that speaks bad of her husband. I believe wives should speak truthfully (because I understand the need to vent) but not in a disrepectful, unloving way. I've heard wives talk about their husbands and rarely do I hear them say how much they love and adore them. I hope that I never become that kind of wife - mad, bitter and exhausted. Kyle is a great husband and I love him so much. I am so thankful for his life and his love. He is my beloved and I am his...and I am so incredibly blessed.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
All Who Are Weary
God is my shepherd/I won’t be wanting/I won’t be wanting/He makes me rest/In fields of green/With quiet streams/Even though I walk through the valley/Of death and dying/I will not fear/Cause You are with me/You are with me/Your shepherd staff comforts me/You are my feast in the presence of enemies/Surely goodness will follow me/Follow me/In the house of God forever – Jon Foreman
This past weekend was a good one. Kyle and I drove to my parents’ house in Spring, TX on Friday night and stayed until Monday. Saturday was spent baking cupcakes, a doll cake, making icing, and helping my sister prepare for Isabella’s surprise party. Saturday evening Kyle and I took my brother’s senior pictures. I think between the two of us we got a handful of really good pictures. It’s hard to believe my little brother is 18 and a senior in high school! Time flies.
Sunday we went to church with my parents and heard a poorly preached sermon. :/ I’ll leave it at that. That afternoon my little sister had a soccer game so Kyle and I took our cameras and got some action shots. It was soooo hot so I didn’t try very hard to get decent pictures. Kyle had way more fun with it. We had to leave before the game ended because I needed to get back to the house and start decorating cakes. I shaped the cupcakes into fairy wings and decorated them with green and pink icing. It took about an hour or more but it turned out really cute! With only half an hour to finish the doll cake I rushed through the decorating so it didn’t turn out as nice as I would have liked but it was still cute and everyone liked it, especially Isabella. The doll cake was for her specifically and the cupcakes were for everyone else. They tasted so good!
The surprise party came off well. When Mike brought Isabella to the park she got out of the car and was laughing and saying, “Y’all tricked me!” Kyle and I shot some cute pictures throughout the party of the kids playing, the family visiting, and Isabella opening her presents. I can’t believe my niece is six years old! I remember when she was born and it feels like it wasn’t that long ago. Again, time flies.
Kyle and I have a lot of pictures to go through. We haven’t even done anything with the wedding pictures but upload them to the computer. Now we have senior pictures, game pictures, and birthday party pictures to upload, go through, and send off to the family! It feels like there isn’t enough time in the day to get everything done. However, I will have more time on my hands now that I no longer have to go to school on Thursdays. That will give me more time to do things with the house, like finish organizing the kitchen. I will be happy when everything has a place and occupies that place!
Last week was a busy week and then this past weekend was non-stop. After leaving Houston Monday afternoon we went straight to school for my evening class. Then Tuesday I was at school all day. Since Wednesday I've been feeling really drained and low on energy. Kyle wasn't feeling very good yesterday either. So I'm taking it easy this week, just doing what has to be done and ignoring everything else. lol I'm pretty use to being responsible for only myself. When I was single, I got myself to class, did my homework, and then laid around reading or watching TV. I did laundry when I needed to. Now, not only do I go to class and do my homework, but I clean, cook, bake, take care of three dogs when no one else is home, and I do laundry at least once a week because if I don't, Kyle won't have anything to wear to work. I'm more busy now because I have more to do and maybe it's a shock to my body. I think I've gotten pretty use to it by now but I decided yesterday that I needed to take some down time.
I know this entry hasn't been that great or interesting so I apologize. I'm a bit out of it as I explained above. :) I will leave with this:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." - Matthew 11:28-30
This past weekend was a good one. Kyle and I drove to my parents’ house in Spring, TX on Friday night and stayed until Monday. Saturday was spent baking cupcakes, a doll cake, making icing, and helping my sister prepare for Isabella’s surprise party. Saturday evening Kyle and I took my brother’s senior pictures. I think between the two of us we got a handful of really good pictures. It’s hard to believe my little brother is 18 and a senior in high school! Time flies.
Sunday we went to church with my parents and heard a poorly preached sermon. :/ I’ll leave it at that. That afternoon my little sister had a soccer game so Kyle and I took our cameras and got some action shots. It was soooo hot so I didn’t try very hard to get decent pictures. Kyle had way more fun with it. We had to leave before the game ended because I needed to get back to the house and start decorating cakes. I shaped the cupcakes into fairy wings and decorated them with green and pink icing. It took about an hour or more but it turned out really cute! With only half an hour to finish the doll cake I rushed through the decorating so it didn’t turn out as nice as I would have liked but it was still cute and everyone liked it, especially Isabella. The doll cake was for her specifically and the cupcakes were for everyone else. They tasted so good!
The surprise party came off well. When Mike brought Isabella to the park she got out of the car and was laughing and saying, “Y’all tricked me!” Kyle and I shot some cute pictures throughout the party of the kids playing, the family visiting, and Isabella opening her presents. I can’t believe my niece is six years old! I remember when she was born and it feels like it wasn’t that long ago. Again, time flies.
Kyle and I have a lot of pictures to go through. We haven’t even done anything with the wedding pictures but upload them to the computer. Now we have senior pictures, game pictures, and birthday party pictures to upload, go through, and send off to the family! It feels like there isn’t enough time in the day to get everything done. However, I will have more time on my hands now that I no longer have to go to school on Thursdays. That will give me more time to do things with the house, like finish organizing the kitchen. I will be happy when everything has a place and occupies that place!
Last week was a busy week and then this past weekend was non-stop. After leaving Houston Monday afternoon we went straight to school for my evening class. Then Tuesday I was at school all day. Since Wednesday I've been feeling really drained and low on energy. Kyle wasn't feeling very good yesterday either. So I'm taking it easy this week, just doing what has to be done and ignoring everything else. lol I'm pretty use to being responsible for only myself. When I was single, I got myself to class, did my homework, and then laid around reading or watching TV. I did laundry when I needed to. Now, not only do I go to class and do my homework, but I clean, cook, bake, take care of three dogs when no one else is home, and I do laundry at least once a week because if I don't, Kyle won't have anything to wear to work. I'm more busy now because I have more to do and maybe it's a shock to my body. I think I've gotten pretty use to it by now but I decided yesterday that I needed to take some down time.
I know this entry hasn't been that great or interesting so I apologize. I'm a bit out of it as I explained above. :) I will leave with this:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." - Matthew 11:28-30
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
For the Glory of it All
“And after all falls apart/He repairs/He repairs/For the glory of it all is He came here/For the rescue of us all that we may live/For the glory of it all oh He is here/With redemption from the fall that we may live/For the glory of it all/Oh the glory of it all/Oh the glory of it all”
These are lyrics from the song Glory of it All by David Crowder. This is my favorite part of the song leading into the climax where it talks about “after the night comes the light/dawn is here/it’s a new day.” This song really moves me because it speaks of redemption. Lives fall apart because of sin but Jesus repairs. He brings redemption from the fall. And He does it all for His glory. He brings hope…the hope of being redeemed. It’s this hope that brings tears to my eyes. I think back on the past few years of my life mourning and regretting some of the decisions I made and the experiences that I had. I have come far. Four years ago I was 17 and beginning a life apart from my family. It was hard and I struggled a lot emotionally. The past four years have been a growing period for me. That time in my life is now over. I am no longer a teenager. I am no longer poor, confused and single. I am no longer depressed, anxious, lonely, and entirely consumed in my schoolwork. I am now more emotionally stable, more mature, more theologically sound, and I am married. My focus is now split between husband, school, house keeping, and my own personal interests like reading and writing. It is an odd thing to step out of that previous time in life and step into a new one. My mind continuously wants to go back but I am paving a new way, a life with Kyle, a story of our own. It is wonderful and difficult all at the same time (though more wonderful than difficult). Having Kyle as my husband is a reminder to me that Jesus does repair, that He does bring hope and redemption. It was through Kyle that God brought rest and peace to my soul. God took me out of that which was not meant for me and put me where I was made to be…in Kyle’s life, folding his laundry, cooking his food, taking care of him, helping him, loving him. I believe that the past four years were growing me for this: that I would be a good wife, a loving person, have a well-rounded life and do it all for the glory of God.
“With redemption from the fall that we may live…”
On a less deep note, I have begun to bake and decorate cakes again. When I was younger I took a cake decorating class and for a while I was always baking and decorating cakes. However, when my parents moved to Houston and I started at Criswell I had to stop baking because I no longer had my own kitchen to work in. I have moved four times in the past four years so it just wasn’t possible to keep up my hobby. But now that I have a kitchen again I decided to try to decorate a cake and see if I can still do it. Today is Kyle’s mom’s birthday (and me and Kyle’s 1 month wedding anniversary) so I baked and decorated a cake yesterday. I made my own icing as well. I quickly remembered how difficult and messy cake decorating can be, especially when I’m having to make do with what little supplies I have. The icing didn’t turn out well for decorating. It tasted great but the consistency was wrong. I need the icing to be stiff in order to decorate well, otherwise the flowers and designs will not keep their hold. So, the cake did not turn out like I wanted it to but I managed to make it look okay. I posted a picture of it on my Facebook. Though I did face some difficulties I really did enjoy baking and decorating again. Also, Kyle made me buy a KitchenAid mixer, which turned out to be a great buy! It’s way easier than mixing by hand or using a hand held mixer. I’ve always mixed by hand because I refuse to use a hand held mixer. I hate those things! Anyway, the cake was a hit amongst Kyle, Mom and Dad so I am happy. It did taste amazing if I do say so myself. I think Kyle was pretty pleased because he bought me some more cake decorating supplies off of Amazon! The next thing I’m going to buy is a tilting cake table so that I can have the cake elevated and tilted, which will make decorating it easier. I’m going to have another chance to refresh my skills this weekend. I offered to make a cake for my niece’s birthday party. I think my sister and I decided to do a fairy theme party so I’m going to make three dozen cupcakes and use them to make fairy wings and maybe a wand. Cupcakes are super easy to decorate so it shouldn’t be too difficult. I’m going to look up some pictures on Google for inspiration. It should be fun!
So, Kyle and I are headed to Houston on Friday and will be back Monday. I’m looking forward to it and I’m hoping to get most of my homework done by Friday. Pray for me and for safe travels! =)
These are lyrics from the song Glory of it All by David Crowder. This is my favorite part of the song leading into the climax where it talks about “after the night comes the light/dawn is here/it’s a new day.” This song really moves me because it speaks of redemption. Lives fall apart because of sin but Jesus repairs. He brings redemption from the fall. And He does it all for His glory. He brings hope…the hope of being redeemed. It’s this hope that brings tears to my eyes. I think back on the past few years of my life mourning and regretting some of the decisions I made and the experiences that I had. I have come far. Four years ago I was 17 and beginning a life apart from my family. It was hard and I struggled a lot emotionally. The past four years have been a growing period for me. That time in my life is now over. I am no longer a teenager. I am no longer poor, confused and single. I am no longer depressed, anxious, lonely, and entirely consumed in my schoolwork. I am now more emotionally stable, more mature, more theologically sound, and I am married. My focus is now split between husband, school, house keeping, and my own personal interests like reading and writing. It is an odd thing to step out of that previous time in life and step into a new one. My mind continuously wants to go back but I am paving a new way, a life with Kyle, a story of our own. It is wonderful and difficult all at the same time (though more wonderful than difficult). Having Kyle as my husband is a reminder to me that Jesus does repair, that He does bring hope and redemption. It was through Kyle that God brought rest and peace to my soul. God took me out of that which was not meant for me and put me where I was made to be…in Kyle’s life, folding his laundry, cooking his food, taking care of him, helping him, loving him. I believe that the past four years were growing me for this: that I would be a good wife, a loving person, have a well-rounded life and do it all for the glory of God.
“With redemption from the fall that we may live…”
On a less deep note, I have begun to bake and decorate cakes again. When I was younger I took a cake decorating class and for a while I was always baking and decorating cakes. However, when my parents moved to Houston and I started at Criswell I had to stop baking because I no longer had my own kitchen to work in. I have moved four times in the past four years so it just wasn’t possible to keep up my hobby. But now that I have a kitchen again I decided to try to decorate a cake and see if I can still do it. Today is Kyle’s mom’s birthday (and me and Kyle’s 1 month wedding anniversary) so I baked and decorated a cake yesterday. I made my own icing as well. I quickly remembered how difficult and messy cake decorating can be, especially when I’m having to make do with what little supplies I have. The icing didn’t turn out well for decorating. It tasted great but the consistency was wrong. I need the icing to be stiff in order to decorate well, otherwise the flowers and designs will not keep their hold. So, the cake did not turn out like I wanted it to but I managed to make it look okay. I posted a picture of it on my Facebook. Though I did face some difficulties I really did enjoy baking and decorating again. Also, Kyle made me buy a KitchenAid mixer, which turned out to be a great buy! It’s way easier than mixing by hand or using a hand held mixer. I’ve always mixed by hand because I refuse to use a hand held mixer. I hate those things! Anyway, the cake was a hit amongst Kyle, Mom and Dad so I am happy. It did taste amazing if I do say so myself. I think Kyle was pretty pleased because he bought me some more cake decorating supplies off of Amazon! The next thing I’m going to buy is a tilting cake table so that I can have the cake elevated and tilted, which will make decorating it easier. I’m going to have another chance to refresh my skills this weekend. I offered to make a cake for my niece’s birthday party. I think my sister and I decided to do a fairy theme party so I’m going to make three dozen cupcakes and use them to make fairy wings and maybe a wand. Cupcakes are super easy to decorate so it shouldn’t be too difficult. I’m going to look up some pictures on Google for inspiration. It should be fun!
So, Kyle and I are headed to Houston on Friday and will be back Monday. I’m looking forward to it and I’m hoping to get most of my homework done by Friday. Pray for me and for safe travels! =)
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Long Day
*PHEW*
I am so glad that all of my responsibilities for the day are over with. I woke up this morning thinking that today was going to be a relaxing-take-it-easy kind of day. I slept in, which felt great, took a shower and finished a movie that I had started yesterday and didn't finish. [Side note: Happy Accidents is an odd but good movie. I knew nothing about it when I started watching it but it really grabbed my attention. I like it because, though it was not a unique story, it kept me wondering about the end the entire time. If you get a chance, watch it.] So, I finished the movie and then ate lunch. Kyle had woken up before me and went to meet up with a friend so I was on my own for a little while. I got my reading homework done and studied Hebrew. While studying I rememered that I wanted to clean out the freezer and kitchen cabinets today. The cabinets are stuffed full with...well, STUFF, and the contents were spilling over onto the counters. Very little has its own place in this house and I'm trying to fix that. I'm somewhat of a neat feak...more of an organized freak...and when nothing has its place it drives me crazy. So, I'm trying to get this house into order but it is a very big and hard task. Upon rememberance of my goals for today I texted Kyle to remind him so when he got home we got to work. It took a few hours to go through four cabinets and we threw a lot of stuff away. I took all of the pots, pans, and other cooking items out of the cabinets and sorted through all of them. Anything really old, gross looking or not needed I threw away. Everything I wanted to keep I washed and put back in the cabinet. I thought going through this stuff, getting rid of things, and making room to put things away would make me feel better. I just grew more and more agitated though. To clean a mess you often times have to create a mess and it was bothering me. It wasn't just that but that I had been on my feet for a long time and hadn't taken a break. I don't really take breaks though. Once I get going on something I don't stop until it is finished. I can't relax until it is finished. I think that is both a curse and a blessing. Anyway, I think we got done around 6 and it was going to be time for dinner soon. That was another reason for my agitation...I was cooking dinner and I knew that it would just create more of a mess and more dishes to wash. At this point, I had to go lay down for a little bit before cooking dinner. I was going to loose it otherwise. I felt better after taking some time to lay down on the bed and then went to cook dinner. Thankfully dinner was easy tonight! Quesadillas! After eating I felt even better....it can be a horrible experience to be around me when I am both tired and hungry. Kyle knows this. I'm learning to control my emotions but it can be hard. Kyle handles it well though and is learning when to leave me alone and when to try to help. He just made me a chocolate milk shake and that definitely helps. :) I'm exhausted so hopefully I will sleep well tonight. Last night I woke up at 4am, fell back to sleep, and then woke up at 6am not being able to fall back to sleep for about an hour or so. I don't know what's up with that but I need to sleep well tonight so I'll get up for church tomorrow. Last Sunday we didn't go to church because I had not slept well the night before and couldn't get up. I don't want to miss tomorrow so hopefully I'll get plenty of sleep tonight.
Man, what a day. I'm hoping that the next two days of my three day weekend will be relaxing!
I am so glad that all of my responsibilities for the day are over with. I woke up this morning thinking that today was going to be a relaxing-take-it-easy kind of day. I slept in, which felt great, took a shower and finished a movie that I had started yesterday and didn't finish. [Side note: Happy Accidents is an odd but good movie. I knew nothing about it when I started watching it but it really grabbed my attention. I like it because, though it was not a unique story, it kept me wondering about the end the entire time. If you get a chance, watch it.] So, I finished the movie and then ate lunch. Kyle had woken up before me and went to meet up with a friend so I was on my own for a little while. I got my reading homework done and studied Hebrew. While studying I rememered that I wanted to clean out the freezer and kitchen cabinets today. The cabinets are stuffed full with...well, STUFF, and the contents were spilling over onto the counters. Very little has its own place in this house and I'm trying to fix that. I'm somewhat of a neat feak...more of an organized freak...and when nothing has its place it drives me crazy. So, I'm trying to get this house into order but it is a very big and hard task. Upon rememberance of my goals for today I texted Kyle to remind him so when he got home we got to work. It took a few hours to go through four cabinets and we threw a lot of stuff away. I took all of the pots, pans, and other cooking items out of the cabinets and sorted through all of them. Anything really old, gross looking or not needed I threw away. Everything I wanted to keep I washed and put back in the cabinet. I thought going through this stuff, getting rid of things, and making room to put things away would make me feel better. I just grew more and more agitated though. To clean a mess you often times have to create a mess and it was bothering me. It wasn't just that but that I had been on my feet for a long time and hadn't taken a break. I don't really take breaks though. Once I get going on something I don't stop until it is finished. I can't relax until it is finished. I think that is both a curse and a blessing. Anyway, I think we got done around 6 and it was going to be time for dinner soon. That was another reason for my agitation...I was cooking dinner and I knew that it would just create more of a mess and more dishes to wash. At this point, I had to go lay down for a little bit before cooking dinner. I was going to loose it otherwise. I felt better after taking some time to lay down on the bed and then went to cook dinner. Thankfully dinner was easy tonight! Quesadillas! After eating I felt even better....it can be a horrible experience to be around me when I am both tired and hungry. Kyle knows this. I'm learning to control my emotions but it can be hard. Kyle handles it well though and is learning when to leave me alone and when to try to help. He just made me a chocolate milk shake and that definitely helps. :) I'm exhausted so hopefully I will sleep well tonight. Last night I woke up at 4am, fell back to sleep, and then woke up at 6am not being able to fall back to sleep for about an hour or so. I don't know what's up with that but I need to sleep well tonight so I'll get up for church tomorrow. Last Sunday we didn't go to church because I had not slept well the night before and couldn't get up. I don't want to miss tomorrow so hopefully I'll get plenty of sleep tonight.
Man, what a day. I'm hoping that the next two days of my three day weekend will be relaxing!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
The Chance of a Lifetime
There is one place that I've always wanted to go since I was old enough to understand the historical and theological significance of this place. I never thought I would ever get the opportunity to go. It was a dream that seemed far from attainable. To go to Israel, to see where Jesus lived, walked, died and resurrected would be an amazing experience. I had this opportunity. Up til three days ago I was actually planning on going to Israel in January. My school requires all of their students to take a Mission Practicum which is a class where you meet for about 10 weeks and then go on a mission trip during the following school break. There are different trips offered and you can choose which trip you want to go on. Israel was one of those trips and I knew this going into the class. It was the whole reason I signed up for the class this semester. Last Friday (after going to my first class of Mission Practicum) I emailed the professor who is leading the Israel trip wanting more information about the trip. He didn't email me back until Monday saying he wanted me to call him or come by his office. I called him and he was with a student so I planned to call him the next opportunity I had or go by his office when I was on campus. Later that day I received another email from him saying that if I was going to Israel then not only would he need to know by tomorrrow (Tuesday) but that he would also need the $500 deposit. He said that the deposit date had, in fact, already passed but that if I could get him the money by Tuesday then he could probably squeak me in. I was shocked and appalled. The Mission Practicum class had just begun a week ago where I was given no information about any of the trips except the trip dates and estimated total for each. How could I have possibly known of any due dates or required deposits? I responded to the professor's email saying that I was unaware of any due dates and that there was no way that I could have the $500 deposit by tomorrow. He answered my email saying that he had contacted everyone who had showed interest in the trip so that they would be forewarned. He did not know of my interest and was truely sorry but that this was out of his control. How was I suppose to show interest? Was not registering for the class, trip, and the required EXTRA class not enough interest? Needless to say, I was angry and upset. Kyle too was perturbed since this was not my fault but the college's for failing to give out the necessary information. Despite my agitation, I was over it by Wednesday. I decided that, for whatever reason, I was just not suppose to go. But then today (Thursday), I received an email from registar that the deposit for the Israel trip was due today, tomorrow (Friday) at the latest. The email also said to contact the professor leading the trip as he would have all the information we needed. Man, did that make me angry all over again! I emailed the registar back and explained my prior experience (minus the anger). I ran into the lady from registar today at school and she apologized for the confusion saying that she too has been very confused about the details. She said that she kept being told different things and that there was just a lot of confusion. I was not angry with her, it wasn't her fault, but the administration at Criswell is aweful. Because of their inability to communicate efficiently, me and other students who were out of the loop, are now screwed. This once in a lifetime opportunity was taken away from me because of their mess ups. I may never get this opportunity again. Thankfully, I will be able to drop the extra class I had signed up for without being charged any fees and I will be able to choose another mission trip to go on. The chance to go to Israel is gone though. Maybe sometime in the future I will be able to go but I don't see that happening.
Now, onto another more happier subject. :) Last night I wasn't tired enough to sleep so Kyle left a light on so that I could read while he fell asleep. I enjoyed my reading but Kyle was a little distracting. He breathes so loudly when he sleeps and looks so content. I reached over to lightly stroke his face and began to cognitively cherish the moments I have with him. Whenever he's doing something else I like to look over at him and just cherish the fact that he's in my presence and that he's my husband. To have married Kyle - now THAT was the chance of a lifetime! I am so blessed that God chose me to be Kyle's wife. I never question that Kyle is a blessing, even when he throws away a half of stick of butter because we aren't going to use it tomorrow. (In reality, I probably would have used it tomorrow but he didn't bother to ask me. He just didn't want to go through the trouble of wrapping it back up and putting it in the fridge.) Yes, Kyle is a blessing. He keeps me laughing and makes me feel special. He completes me and I complete him; for the glory of God. I pray that I would never take the gift God has given me for granted. I spoke of going to Israel as a dream but my biggest dream has always been to marry and then one day have children. I did nothing to deserve this dream come true. To marry was not a right that I had, it was a privilege, a gift of grace. To be apart of something that God has ordain and put in place as a picture of His Gospel is an amazing thing. Just today I heard of a marriage that is falling apart and there looks like there will be no reconciliation. The end of a marriage is like a death of a person. And just like of a physical death, I grieve of this marital death. It is a sad thing, especially when there are children involved. I pray for my marriage, that God would be the center, and that He would hold all things together. Despite the disappointments of not going to Israel and the sorrow over a broken marriage, I thank God that He is sovereign and in control of all things. I trust in His knowledge and plan and not in my own ignorance. He is a good God and He has done good things for me.
Now, onto another more happier subject. :) Last night I wasn't tired enough to sleep so Kyle left a light on so that I could read while he fell asleep. I enjoyed my reading but Kyle was a little distracting. He breathes so loudly when he sleeps and looks so content. I reached over to lightly stroke his face and began to cognitively cherish the moments I have with him. Whenever he's doing something else I like to look over at him and just cherish the fact that he's in my presence and that he's my husband. To have married Kyle - now THAT was the chance of a lifetime! I am so blessed that God chose me to be Kyle's wife. I never question that Kyle is a blessing, even when he throws away a half of stick of butter because we aren't going to use it tomorrow. (In reality, I probably would have used it tomorrow but he didn't bother to ask me. He just didn't want to go through the trouble of wrapping it back up and putting it in the fridge.) Yes, Kyle is a blessing. He keeps me laughing and makes me feel special. He completes me and I complete him; for the glory of God. I pray that I would never take the gift God has given me for granted. I spoke of going to Israel as a dream but my biggest dream has always been to marry and then one day have children. I did nothing to deserve this dream come true. To marry was not a right that I had, it was a privilege, a gift of grace. To be apart of something that God has ordain and put in place as a picture of His Gospel is an amazing thing. Just today I heard of a marriage that is falling apart and there looks like there will be no reconciliation. The end of a marriage is like a death of a person. And just like of a physical death, I grieve of this marital death. It is a sad thing, especially when there are children involved. I pray for my marriage, that God would be the center, and that He would hold all things together. Despite the disappointments of not going to Israel and the sorrow over a broken marriage, I thank God that He is sovereign and in control of all things. I trust in His knowledge and plan and not in my own ignorance. He is a good God and He has done good things for me.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Hebrew, Dogs & Travels
This semester Kyle and I are learning Hebrew. Kyle is a little ahead of me as he's already had a semester of Hebrew. I'm hoping he'll be able to help me when I get stuck. So far, it would appear that I know the alphabet better than he does yet he can read it and understand the vowels better than I can. Today I'm working on vowels. It basically comes down to memorizing the symbols, names, and pronounciation. I'm working on it but it almost seems too easy which makes me think that maybe I'm missing something. I'll go over it with Kyle later and see if he can help me. Under all that silliness he is a very smart guy. ;)
I love dogs. Kyle and I are both dog lovers. However, I have little patience with a dog that demands attention, especially when I'm trying to study Hebrew. Eariler, I was studying the vowels and Trudy (our large Lab/Pit Bull mix) curled right up against me on the bed and laid her head on my book which was lying on my lap. Cassie was also whining and yelping for my attention. Why they choose to do this now when I really need to focus is beyond me. Trudy also thinks that when I'm up cleaning that I'm in need of her neverending presence. While folding sheets she is right there, standing on them and getting in the way. Cleaning the bathroom she stands in the hallway sniffing everything and inspecting everything I do. When I'm walking back and forth from the laundry room to the bedroom she follows me and being as large as she is, she naturally gets in the way. If I'm in the kitchen cooking or baking, she is definitely there too watching my every move. I always tell her that it would be great if she could actually help but since she can't, leave me alone! I suppose this is good preparation for kids. lol I don't hate Trudy at all but she definitely gets on my nerves sometimes. Other than that she is a really good dog with a lot of love for her people. Haha.
My niece's birthday is coming up on the 14th and we're throwing her a surprise party. She's turning 6 and had the idea herself. lol She doesn't know that her mom and dad are actually doing it though so it should be fun! They live in Houston and Kyle and I are driving down there and staying with my parents over the weekend. We haven't seen my family since the wedding so I'm looking forward to it. We really didn't get much time to spend together since we were all so busy with wedding details. So, we'll enjoy a little time with the family and a birthday party as well as take some senior pictures. My brother is a highschool senior this year so my mom wants Kyle and I to take his senior photos. I'm excited about that because it will be a learning experience and who better to practice on than your family? lol
Well, Kyle will be home in about an hour which is something I always look forward to. I'm not sure if it's him or if it's because that's when we eat dinner....probably both. :P Until next time....
I love dogs. Kyle and I are both dog lovers. However, I have little patience with a dog that demands attention, especially when I'm trying to study Hebrew. Eariler, I was studying the vowels and Trudy (our large Lab/Pit Bull mix) curled right up against me on the bed and laid her head on my book which was lying on my lap. Cassie was also whining and yelping for my attention. Why they choose to do this now when I really need to focus is beyond me. Trudy also thinks that when I'm up cleaning that I'm in need of her neverending presence. While folding sheets she is right there, standing on them and getting in the way. Cleaning the bathroom she stands in the hallway sniffing everything and inspecting everything I do. When I'm walking back and forth from the laundry room to the bedroom she follows me and being as large as she is, she naturally gets in the way. If I'm in the kitchen cooking or baking, she is definitely there too watching my every move. I always tell her that it would be great if she could actually help but since she can't, leave me alone! I suppose this is good preparation for kids. lol I don't hate Trudy at all but she definitely gets on my nerves sometimes. Other than that she is a really good dog with a lot of love for her people. Haha.
My niece's birthday is coming up on the 14th and we're throwing her a surprise party. She's turning 6 and had the idea herself. lol She doesn't know that her mom and dad are actually doing it though so it should be fun! They live in Houston and Kyle and I are driving down there and staying with my parents over the weekend. We haven't seen my family since the wedding so I'm looking forward to it. We really didn't get much time to spend together since we were all so busy with wedding details. So, we'll enjoy a little time with the family and a birthday party as well as take some senior pictures. My brother is a highschool senior this year so my mom wants Kyle and I to take his senior photos. I'm excited about that because it will be a learning experience and who better to practice on than your family? lol
Well, Kyle will be home in about an hour which is something I always look forward to. I'm not sure if it's him or if it's because that's when we eat dinner....probably both. :P Until next time....
My Life as Sarah Kerby
Everyone wants their story told. Everyone wants to be known for something. Some are creatively skilled in the arts and are able to express themselves through brush, color, and pencil. Others can capture beautiful pictures (which I dabble in) and others can sing, play an instrument, or act. Still others can write, using their words to express what is on their minds and in their hearts. I am one who writes. I write to process, to express, to focus and leave behind. I keep a journal, it sits on my bedside table, and when the mood strikes me I write the happenings, frustrations, and joys of my day. There are times when I write everyday but there are also times when I write every now and then, maybe only recording a few entries for an entire year. I love to write with my hand…to feel the pen sweep across the page. I have many journals stuffed full with the stories of my life. I think about how, someday, when I am gone, that my children or grandchildren will find my journals and enjoy reading them. I could be wrong, my life is probably not that exciting, but if one of my grandparents had kept a journal I would have loved to get my hands on that! But maybe that’s just the writer and reader in me that cares. My offspring may not give a care and that’s okay. Writing has always helped me so it does not go to waste.
Though I have kept many journals since I was a young teenager, I would like to start a blog recording my life as Sarah Kerby, the wife of THE Kyle Kerby. Beginning a marriage is beginning a whole new phase of life. Marriage changes things; heck it even changes me. Here I thought I was all grown up but come to find I still have more growing to do. I don’t think that will ever stop though.
I have been married for three weeks and three days now. I made a covenant with Kyle on August 7, 2010. It felt like a dream but slowly and surely, reality hits. Marriage is amazing and I love being Mrs. Kyle Kerby. I enjoy sharing a life with him. I look forward to every night when he comes home from work. I cherish the strong arms that wrap around me any time I am upset, frustrated or scared. I love looking at him and knowing that “my beloved is mine and I am his” and that this is forever; a covenant is not meant to be broken. I know that we have not met all challenges yet and we still have much to learn but it didn’t take long to preview how things are going to be. For instance, Kyle will probably always leave his clothes in the bathroom. He’ll probably always leave lights on when they needn’t be. He’ll probably always think that he knows best and try to get me to do things his way. He’ll leave the seat up, hair in the sink and on the counter, his towel carelessly flung over the shower, and the bed sloppily made. He’ll probably always think that using my bath towel to dry the grill was the best option he had. He’ll always ball up his dirty socks and put them in the hamper when they should be right side out and separated for proper cleaning. He’ll always enjoy watching MMA and that is something I will never understand. Despite all this, I love the heck out of him. He makes me laugh, comforts me when I cry for absolutely no reason, lets me choose the TV show or movie to watch, buys me Ted Dekker books and flowers, spoils me with yummy treats, and will get me almost anything I want or ask for. He’ll massage me when I hurt, scratch my back and arms every time I ask, and generally treats me like a princess. I could not have chosen a better man for me.
I know that as time goes on I will probably discover more things about Kyle that I can’t stand. Some of the things that I love about him now may become one of those irritating habits later on. But whatever happens, he’s my husband and I am very proud of that fact. And I am sure that there are things about me that irritate him and being the wise man that he is, he is not letting on to those things. ;) He sings my praises even when I know that I’m wrong or being annoying.
All in all, life is good in the Kerby household. We look forward to the future and everything that holds – the growing, learning, loving and fighting. So far, the journey is enjoyable, despite the little bumps we encounter along the way.
Though I have kept many journals since I was a young teenager, I would like to start a blog recording my life as Sarah Kerby, the wife of THE Kyle Kerby. Beginning a marriage is beginning a whole new phase of life. Marriage changes things; heck it even changes me. Here I thought I was all grown up but come to find I still have more growing to do. I don’t think that will ever stop though.
I have been married for three weeks and three days now. I made a covenant with Kyle on August 7, 2010. It felt like a dream but slowly and surely, reality hits. Marriage is amazing and I love being Mrs. Kyle Kerby. I enjoy sharing a life with him. I look forward to every night when he comes home from work. I cherish the strong arms that wrap around me any time I am upset, frustrated or scared. I love looking at him and knowing that “my beloved is mine and I am his” and that this is forever; a covenant is not meant to be broken. I know that we have not met all challenges yet and we still have much to learn but it didn’t take long to preview how things are going to be. For instance, Kyle will probably always leave his clothes in the bathroom. He’ll probably always leave lights on when they needn’t be. He’ll probably always think that he knows best and try to get me to do things his way. He’ll leave the seat up, hair in the sink and on the counter, his towel carelessly flung over the shower, and the bed sloppily made. He’ll probably always think that using my bath towel to dry the grill was the best option he had. He’ll always ball up his dirty socks and put them in the hamper when they should be right side out and separated for proper cleaning. He’ll always enjoy watching MMA and that is something I will never understand. Despite all this, I love the heck out of him. He makes me laugh, comforts me when I cry for absolutely no reason, lets me choose the TV show or movie to watch, buys me Ted Dekker books and flowers, spoils me with yummy treats, and will get me almost anything I want or ask for. He’ll massage me when I hurt, scratch my back and arms every time I ask, and generally treats me like a princess. I could not have chosen a better man for me.
I know that as time goes on I will probably discover more things about Kyle that I can’t stand. Some of the things that I love about him now may become one of those irritating habits later on. But whatever happens, he’s my husband and I am very proud of that fact. And I am sure that there are things about me that irritate him and being the wise man that he is, he is not letting on to those things. ;) He sings my praises even when I know that I’m wrong or being annoying.
All in all, life is good in the Kerby household. We look forward to the future and everything that holds – the growing, learning, loving and fighting. So far, the journey is enjoyable, despite the little bumps we encounter along the way.
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