Happy Birthday to Me

My birthday was great. Kyle and I laid in bed most of the day watching Monk and eating lunch. Kyle gave me a box of chocolates and a Christmas tree in a box! Later we got ready and Kyle drove us to Firewheel where he took me to James Avery and had me pick out a pearl ring! I found one I liked, he bought it, and then we headed to Allen to watch the Americans game. We got there pretty early so we ate at Which Wich and then went to Kirklands just to look around. We ended up buying an antique looking book and a nutcracker that Kyle found hilarious. Then we went to the event center and watched the Americans play an awesome game. I've never seen them so aggressive! They won 4 to 1 making my birthday a total success. lol I had a good time and give full credit to my husband. :)

21 Years of Life

Friday is my birthday. I will be 21.

I know that is not old. I know that 21 is quite young. Life goes by so fast though. I remember when I was little thinking about how the ages of 16, 18 and 21 were so old and so far off. When I was a kid life seemed so slow and so familiar. It was easy then. Safe. Secure. It felt like I had all the time in the world. Now, however, I have seen how fast time flies. I'm a senior in college and a wife. All my life I wanted it to happen so quickly but it felt like it was happening so slowly. And now, when I want it all to slow down, it just seems to fly be even faster. It's funny how life is like that.

For my birthday, Kyle is taking me to the Allen Americans game Friday night. I'm so excited! They better win because if they don't it will spoil my birthday. ;) Kyle also has the day off Friday so I'll get to spend the whole day with my honey! I'm looking forward to it. :)

I am thankful for life and the 21 years God has granted me thus far. He has been faithful, just and forgiving. I look forward to the years ahead and the blessings and hardships He has in store for me.

Happy birthday to me! :)



P.S:

I still love being married. It's the greatest and most challenging experience of my life. Kyle is such a good man. His smile and silliness lights up my life and keeps me going. He is a good second half, and he keeps me balanced. I love him very much. . .more than words can say.

Children are a Blessing

Children are a blessing not because they are given to you to obey your every rule, to live up to your expectations, to live in such a way as to not make you look bad, to love you, to listen to you, or to make every moment a joy. No, children are a blessing because they are given to you, a poor, pathetic mess of a person, as a gift to teach you, grow you, and edify you as you pour everything you have into them. They are a blessing because God uses them to sanctify you as you stand by them no matter what they do or who they become.

Parents, would you agree? Give your thoughts.

Patience and Contentment

Plans don't always pan out, they don't always remain the same.

I had planned to go to China in March but that fell through. I don't have the time or focus to raise money right now. There are too many other things going on right now . . . not to mention still being a newlywed! I'll have to fulfill my mission practicum trip later and I am okay with that.

What was much harder to accept was the fact that I won't be graduating until December 2011. I was planning on graduating in May 2011 but I found out that I had more classes to take than I thought. In order to graduate in May I would have to take 17 hours next semester. Kyle and I both agreed that 17 hours would be too much work and very hard to schedule around his job. So, I will be adding an Education minor to my degree so that I will have 24 hours left to take which means 12 hours next semester and 12 hours the following semester. Though it is disappointing to have to drag this out longer I know it will work out better. I get to add another minor of interest and will still receive financial aid. What really stinks however is that even though I will finish my degree requirements in December 2011, I won't actually graduate until May 2012. Criswell does not have a December graduation and I will not be given my diploma unless I have a special need. So I will have to wait 5 months to actually receive my diploma and be considered a graduate. I think that's stupid but there's nothing I can do about it. I think I've come to accept it but it's still annoying.

I love my in-laws and I appreciate them letting Kyle and I live with them but I am anxious for us to have our own place. I want a clean and organized house where I can put things where I want them and decorate how I like. The plan is to save up money and move out next year but I'm worried it might take longer than that. Some plans can't be fulfilled until this happens which makes me worry even more.

Kyle has started new hours at his job this week. He is now working 3 days a week from 12pm to 12am. It means more time at home which is nice but him not coming home until late takes some getting use to.

I've never been a fan of change. I like to have plans and stick to them. It gives me security, stability, and comfort. Unfortunately, life is not like that. I am having to learn patience and contentment. I am trying to be patient and content with the way things are knowing that it won't always be this way. I will graduate and one day we will have our own place. Hopefully Kyle will be able to have a more permanent and secure job soon so that we can start saving more.

These things can be frustrating and discouraging but such is life. I know that I need to be patient, find contentment with where I am now, and trust that God is sovereign even over my little plans. I can find security, stability and comfort in knowing that God is in control and is looking out for us. Everything will be okay.

I Love Being a Woman!

"You know the depths of my heart and still love me the same/You are amazing God..."


This past weekend was a blast! The girls leadership retreat went really well and it was just fun to be with a bunch of girls. Though I was there as a leader to hang out with the "retreaters" I found myself being encouraged and refreshed.

It was a year or so ago when I learned how amazing it is to be a woman and how dear to the Lord's heart I am. I read the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge and it opened up my eyes to my role as a woman and the fact that the way I feel and respond to the world is something I share with all women. I long to unveil beauty, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to be wanted, needed, pursued. And like all women, I live in fear of being too much or not enough. I strive to be just right but I always miss the mark. . .so I hide and pretend and hope that no one ever discovers how tired, how lonely, and how desperate I really am.

It was amazing to read this book because it felt like the authors had peered into my heart and where writing about me. And in a way, they were. It was so good to know that I wasn't alone in these desires, thoughts, and fears. And it was even better to discover that all of these desires (the desire to be seen, to unveil beauty, to be loved, pursued, and a part of a romantic adventure) was put within me by God Himself. I am like this because I was made in His image. My very essence is beauty because my Creator is Beauty. I bear the part of God's image that is beautiful, romantic, soft, gentle, emotional, relational, and feminine. Creation was not complete without woman, in fact it wasn't even good. God made woman because it was not good for man to be alone. God made woman to be his helpmate, to be his life sustainer. That is an amazing role to have! I appreciate it even more now that I am married. When my husband tells me how much he loves me and what an incredible woman I am it reminds me of the role I play in his life. It is a role no one else can play in the way that I can. The romantic side of me finds it simply wonderful and hopelessly romantic.

I was also reminded this weekend that though my husband loves me like no other man ever has, God knows the deepest depths of my heart and still loves me the same. I have an amazing husband but an even more amazing God. The fact that both my God and my husband will love me whether I am too much or not enough in this world makes me a very blessed woman.

I love being a woman!

"He is jealous for me/Loves like a hurricane/I am a tree/Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy/When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory/and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me/How He loves us/Oh how He loves us/Oh how He loves us/How He loves us all"