Reflecting on Christmas

Every year at Christmas I take some time to quietly reflect on the birth of my Savior. The birth of Jesus Christ, the Messiah, is the reason for Christmas after all.  And though Jesus was most likely born in the Spring, Christmas is when we celebrate His birth.

Yesterday I read Luke chapters 1 and 2 and it was like I was reading it for the first time. I was amazed at the thought of Jesus being born of a virgin, at Zechariah's prophecy after John's birth, and at the prophecy of Simeon at the temple. I was reminded that we so often forget the awesomeness of this event and the reason for why it even happened. Even Israel at the time didn't have a correct understanding of the Messiah's arrival. He didn't come as they expected Him to and He didn't act as they wanted Him to. And now we, all these years later, even with the Word of God to direct us, do not have a correct understanding of His arrival or of what He came to do. Like Israel, we expect Him to act in a way that fits our desires and our understanding of who He is. We still fail to "get it" and many of us never will until Jesus returns to establish His kingdom.

Jesus didn't come as a king to overthrow the Roman government; He came as a baby meant to die. Jesus didn't come to make us happy and safe; He came with a sword and with the message "repent and believe." He came in such a way that it was completely different from what anyone expected or desired, yet the way He came was completely right. And His ministry, His message, and His death was completely right. Jesus never got it wrong, He simply did and said things that we, apart from Him, would never find acceptable. My heart swells with the knowledge that Jesus is so not what any of us wanted and that He still does not fit into our man made mold of Him. I am so over joyed that Jesus is not what we would have Him be. He is God and as God He is holy. He possesses wrath and grace, hatred and love. He is holy and He is just. He is, and defines what is, right and good. I am so thankful and humbled that He came as a baby to die and that He did that to bring me to Himself for His glory. Without Him, I would hate Him. I would oppose Him. I would never choose Him for myself. He chose me and He had grace on me when He could have condemned me. There is no better reason to celebrate Christmas.



O come, O come, Emmanuel
And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel

Thinking about Baby

I haven't been posting as much as usual the past few months mainly because so many things are going on and my mind is kind of everywhere. Pregnancy has certainly made things harder and is changing my life. School was harder to accomplish, cleaning is harder to do, the laundry detergent is a horrible smell to me now, and though my energy has been returning, I still wear out faster than I used to. My body is also changing in ways I never even considered pre-pregnancy. My emotions are kind of everywhere and I now cry easier and at things that normally wouldn't phase me. I was watching a movie the other day and just started bawling at a particular scene. Before pregnancy I would have been moved by it but I wouldn't have cried, let alone bawl. I also forget things more often and feel like an idiot sometimes. I've walked into rooms and have totally forgotten why I was there. That's never happened before. So, there have been lots of changes and there are plenty more to come.

The morning sickness seems to have subsided. A few things still make me sick every now and then but for the most part I am done with throwing up. Now, it's dealing with gas and indigestion which can be uncomfortable. My back will also start to ache if I sit or stand too long. I guess I better get used to that because I'm assuming it will only get worse the bigger I get. I'm definitely not as miserable as I was a few weeks ago so I'm thankful for that.

The two things I am looking forward to in the near future is showing more and finding out the gender of our little one. I have an unltrasound at 20 weeks so only four more weeks to go. Hopefully the baby will cooperate and, for this ONE time, be "immodest." ;) I REALLY want to know what we're having so I can stop calling the baby "it" and starting using a name; as well as pick out baby stuff!! I feel like I'll also be able to bond a little bit more with the baby knowing the name and gender. Kyle and I both would like to begin our family with a boy but we wonder if, because we want a boy, that it's a girl. Either way I will be happy and hopefully Kyle will too. If it's a girl, I can totally see our little girl having her daddy wrapped around her little finger. :) I'm sure he will fall in love either way.

Christmas is only three days away and I am looking forward to spending it with Kyle and his side of the family. We have presents all around the tree and stockings hanging over the fireplace. We even have a little sock tacked up there for the baby. :) Though it will be over far too soon, it will be a nice Christmas and the year ahead is full of new journeys and good changes. I can't wait. :)

Your Jesus is Too Safe

The following three posts are Facebook notes that I wrote last year. I was reminded of them because I've been thinking over these issues again. I highly recommend Your Jesus is Too Safe by Jared Wilson as well as The Holiness of God by RC Sproul (which I am currently reading). These two books will rock your world and shape your view of Jesus as He was on Earth and as He is as God.



I wonder why terms like "get saved," "ask Jesus into your heart," and "relationship with God" make me wanna puke. It's not that I'm not "saved" or that Jesus isn't a part of my LIFE or that I don't have a relationship with God, it just may be that these terms have become so...lame. I didn't GET saved...Jesus chose to have grace on me. And I certainly didn't ask Jesus into my heart! I thought I had when I was younger but now that doesn't make any sense to me. What would Jesus be doing in my heart? What does that even mean? lol No, Jesus isn't in my heart but He is my leader and the One that I look to in everything. He is King and Lord. And I may have a relationship with God but it's not like the relationship I have with my parents, my friends or even my boyfriend. It's not like God and I hang out at the coffee shop or go to the movies. God isn't just another person I pal around with. He is more than that. Yes, I do see Him as a Father, a Friend and even a Lover but He is still so much more than that. Yes He's personal in these ways and I adore that about Him but He is also a ruler, a mighty ruler, who acts out of justice and sometimes wrath. He is a King and He is sovereign. He holds all things within His power and will. He is so much more than even my mind can fully comprehend. I don't like to talk about my "relationship with God" as if I'm discussing my relationship with my boyfriend. Am I communicating the difference here? I hope so...I don't want to sound heretical. I just think that Christians, especially American Christians, forget who Jesus is and why who He is is so important. We've gone into a spiritual slumber. Do we even recognize Jesus' power? Are we so caught up in Christianity that we forget about Jesus and the Gospel? Do we forget to follow? I've said this before and I still believe it...we've watered down what Christianity is suppose to be. We've changed it and made it more like the world....it looks like everything else. Jesus was radical but do we express that at all? Scripture is incredibly radical so why do we find it so boring? The very plan of creation and redemption is amazingly radical but we don't seem to even care! We go to church every Sunday but then live the rest of our days as if Jesus is not who He said He was, as if we have no grace, as if there is no hope, as if there is nothing to live for but ourselves! I find it incredibly sad. I can't say that none of this is true for me because it is and I hate it. But praise God that He is patient and full of grace because He remains faithful even when I do not. So no, I don't consider myself as one who "got saved" or as one who "invited Jesus into my heart" or as one who has a "relationship with God." I am one who was chosen by God to be brought out of the slavery of sin into a hopeful life of grace to be lived for His glory. I am one who follows God by allowing Him to lead every part of my life and to use me as He will. Do I hang out with God? In a sense, yes I do, but not like I hang out with other people. I read His unchanging Word, I can pray to Him whenever and wherever I want, and I learn more about Him and grow closer to Him in intimacy. Do I often screw this up? Heck yes I do and God will judge me but He still offers grace and hope. I know I should be a better follower but I don't want to forget why I'm even a follower in the first place.

_______________

Your Jesus is Too Safe is a book written by Jared C Wilson. It has been sitting on my bedside table for months now and I just started reading it today. All I had to read was the introduction to know that this is going to be a good read. It is much like my previous note on my thoughts about God. Wilson wrote this book in order to bring to remembrance and realization that there is a real historical Jesus. Our nation has been marketing Jesus as all kinds of things. Jesus has become our "drive-thru, feel good Savior." He has been painted as a long haired, brown eyed, blank stare, "he must be a nice guy" kind of Jesus. What's worse is that even the CHURCH has misrepresented Jesus. "Yes, even the church itself is guilty when it comes to the marketing of Jesus. We've put our own gloss on him, our own spin. It's no wonder the world doesn't get Jesus, because we've spent decades selling a Jesus cast in our own image" (pg. 13). Christians read the Bible and still screw up the Gospel and still view Jesus as their cuddly teddy bear. How can you read the gospels and not understand who Jesus really is? Well, I must remember that I knew the Gospel forwards and back and had a completely wrong view of Jesus growing up. It wasn't until I started at Criswell that I began to learn and know the real Jesus; the historical Jesus and how what He did and said all those years ago meant then and now. I learned how important it is to see and hear Jesus as His first century audience would have. And let me tell you, it's completely different from how the 21st century church sees and hears Jesus.

"The purpose of Your Jesus is Too Safe is to remind us, for the glory of God and the hope of the world, of the original message of the historical person Jesus Christ, who was, in fact, God in the flesh. We're going to remove the gloss. We're going to venture beyond the hype and beneath the misconceptions to see the real, historical figure of Jesus Christ in his biblical and cultural context - and in this way to know God more fully, to see what God wants us to know about the revelation of himself in his son" (pg 15).

_____________

Jesus was a promise. He was a prophet. He was/is a forgiver.

In the Old Testament Jesus was the promised Messiah. The Jews waited for Him and when He came, they rejected Him. They didn't understand Him. They wanted a King to come in and overthrow the Roman government and deliver them from their oppressors. But that's not what Jesus came to do. He came as the fulfillment of the Law. He came to bring a new covenant, a new kingdom. "The deliverance wasn't happening the way that so many people expected, as neither John nor Jesus had a sword, and neither advocated actually overthrowing the government. Instead, they wielded something far more dangerous: the radical message of a new kingdom" (pg. 23-24). The Jews wanted freedom from an oppressing government but Jesus came to offer Himself. He came and said, "I'm God. I'm IT. I'm the fulfillment of the Law. Repent and believe because the kingdom of God is here." The Jews didn't like this so much. They thought He was crazy. What they didn't understand is that they were looking for the wrong promise and the wrong freedom. "The real good news of the kingdom of God arriving to reign over the world is that the promise is not in stuff, but in God himself, manifest in the person of Jesus Christ. The promise is not a monetary or political inheritance. The promise is the king himself. The promise is Jesus" (pg. 25). So many Christians, even today, "accept" Christ because they think they He will give them a better life and that they will be blessed with things and everything their heart desires. No longer do Christians long for Christ. No longer do they yearn for Him and find satisfaction in Him. No longer do we present the Gospel with Christ as the focus. We take Christ to get something bigger and better as a result. Perhaps this is why we have so many fake Christians and pastors in our churches today and in so many Christian organizations. Perhaps so many people who call themselves Christians have not actually met the powerful Jesus Christ of the Gospels. They have only met a distorted figure of Him. Wilson says, "The message of Jesus--that he himself is life and you can't get it anywhere else, least of all in yourself--is the hardest message we could ever hear, because it goes completely against our perceptions and conceptions, our prejudices and our opinions. It goes radically against the bent of our souls" (pg 27). This is one of the things that I have always loved about Jesus. He is radically different. He came to do that which He did in such a radical way, in such a way that no one expected or even wanted. He did come as a promise and He fulfilled that promise. He took the Law, the Law that the Jews followed so closely, and He put the Law in context of Himself. He fulfilled it and now we no longer live under the Law, but under Christ.

Jesus was a prophet. I don't really have much to say about this. Wilson went over five criteria for a prophet that can be gathered from any of the Old Testament prophets and then he showed how Jesus fulfilled each of these criteria. At the end of the chapter Wilson says this, "That is what irritates about Jesus the Prophet. That is what disturbs about Jesus the Prophet. That is what offends about Jesus the Prophet. He has no interest in our self-interest, no concern for our personal space, no enablement for our self-satisfaction. He proclaims and prophesies himself, and he makes no bones about it" (pg 58).

 Jesus is a forgiver. Not only did He come to fulfill but to bring grace and forgiveness. Wilson discusses how important it is for Christians to have grace and forgiveness. He says that the church is suppose to be the face of grace to each other and to the world. Having grace and forgiving someone is not innate within us. When someone wrongs us we want to have vengeance, not forgive them. But we are to forgive because we've been forgiven and we are to forgive as we've been forgiven. "...it does mean we give up the option for vengeance, that we relinquish the spiritual power that unforgiveness can have over us" (pg. 72). To persevere in forgiveness is to be so unlike the world. To forgive as God has forgiven us is a radical and godly characteristic that every Christian should portray. And if at all possible, to create reconciliation and bring healing to brokenness is a great testimony for the kingdom of God.

 ______________

We like the soft, cuddly, give-me-happiness, I-want-to-go-to-heaven, security blanket Jesus. This Jesus isn't biblical. I don't know that Jesus. The Jesus I know from the Bible spoke of an upside down kingdom, showed radical love, judged, was the fulfillment of the law. He hung out with sinners, corrected their lifestyle, offered them forgiveness. He turned over tables, called the Pharisees snakes, and brought justice as well as grace. His skin was ripped to shreds and then He was hung on a cross where he bore the sin and shame of the world. The Father even turned His face away. This is the Jesus I know, this is the Jesus, the only Jesus that is found in the Bible. And it is THIS Jesus will bring joy, hope, and restoration.

_______________
 
"Ours is an upbeat generation with the accent on self-improvement and a broad-minded view of sin. Our thinking goes like this: If there is a God at all, He is certainly not holy. If He is perchance holy, He is not just. Even if He is both holy and just, we need not fear because His love and mercy override His holy justice. If we can stomach His holy and just character, we can rest in one thing: He cannot possess wrath. If we think soberly for five seconds, we must see our error. If God is holy at all, if God has an ounce of justice in His character, indeed if God exists as God, how could He possibly be anything else but angry with us? We violate His holiness; we insult His justice, we make light of His grace. These things can hardly please Him." - The Holiness of God by RC Sproul

I Got to See My Little One!

The past few days have been miserable. The morning sickness has turned into any-time-of-the-day sickness, the nausea sticks around for a while, and my lower back has begun to ache. I just feel crappy. I spend most of my time in bed and find it unbelievably exhausting to do the most normal of tasks. I literally have to lay on the bed and rest after taking a shower. The laundry takes me an extra long time to accomplish and my bedroom is probably the dirtiest it has been in a while. I just don't have the energy to keep up with what I normally do. Who knew developing a baby could take so much out of you? I certainly didn't. I can't even think straight anymore. I knew this was going to be hard but, of course, I didn't realize just how hard until I was experiencing it.

I had my first sonogram today and it was, in a word, surreal. When that baby first popped on the screen it was bouncing around and waving its arms and legs about. It was like Baby was happy to see us. :) It was so cool to see that it was so active and to see the flicker of the little heartbeat. Then, we were able to hear the heartbeat and I couldn't help myself. I cried out of joy and relief. Kyle was just in awe that it was even possible to hear the heartbeat but it was a different experience for me. Hearing the heartbeat means that the baby is really there and that all the miserableness that I have been feeling isn't for not. It is such a relief and a motivator to not only get through these next several months but to enjoy them. Now anytime that I'm feeling awful I can just look at the pictures of my little one and remember the sound of his or her heartbeat. I'm so thankful for that experience, it was a big encouragement and a huge blessing.

No More School, Please

Today I went to go put on some shorts and. . .I couldn't buckle them. I had worn these shorts just last week and they fit, a little snug, but they fit. Today I couldn't even buckle them. I'm not showing yet but I'm definitely getting thicker. I have had to resort to what I call my "comfy clothes." I'm now sporting sweatpants and athletic shorts!

I have been feeling very tired ALL THE TIME and the nausea comes and goes. Certain foods just make me feel blah so I've recently been going for the easy to eat soft foods that don't take much work to get down. The hardest thing I have had to deal with so far is my exhaustion and lack of energy. This is my last semester of college and it is imperative that I get all of this school work done! However, school work is the last thing I want to do right now! I have been more out of it and less on top of things this semester. My mind is on the baby and I'm just too tired to put as much effort into my assignments as I normally do. I'm trying, I'm doing my best, but I am so over school. I cannot wait for everything to be done so I can just focus on being pregnant and getting ready for the baby. I'm slowly loosing my motivation...I just want to be done!

A Little Blessing

October 1st is a day I'll never forget. Not only does it mark the beginning of the coming fall/winter months which I love but it is also the day that I discovered that God has granted us with a little blessing.

I had been sick with a cold the past few weeks so I wasn't really paying attention to much else but as I laid in bed the night before, I realized Aunt Flow hadn't made her appearance yet. I had a pregnancy test handy so I decided to take it in the morning just for the heck of it.

I really didn't think much of it. I expected it to be negative so when I saw that stick go from a timer to the word "pregnant" I was shocked. I couldn't believe it. I just stood there and didn't know what to do. My first thought was, "when should I tell Kyle?" Keep in mind that it was 6am and neither of us are used to getting up that early. I thought maybe I should wait until after class but then I worried that he would find the pregnancy test. I also knew I probably couldn't wait that long.

I sat on the bed and rubbed his arm to wake him up. He turned to me and I asked him if he was awake. I explained to him that I hadn't seen Aunt Flow yet so I took a pregnancy test. Then I lifted it up so he could see it and he paused, turned his head away, and said, "I'll believe it when I see it." I knew he was joking but all I said was that I was going to buy another just to be sure. I then went about getting ready to leave.

As I was getting ready I kept thinking about how much I wanted to be excited but was afraid that somehow it wasn't true. I expressed this concern to Kyle but he was far more excited and giddy than I was. He kept smiling at me and kept wanting to hold me and hug me. He was really cute. :)

The next morning I took another test and it was also positive. Again, I couldn't believe it. Other than a few subtle signs I really didn't feel pregnant. I also knew that these early weeks are very crucial and sensitive so I was really guarding my heart so that I wouldn't get too attached. Even now, I don't think it has really hit me yet and of course that worry and fear is still there. I keep telling myself, however, that God is in control. Just as I trusted Him in getting pregnant I can also trust Him to take care of my baby. Deep down inside I am thrilled but I don't know that it has truly hit me yet.

I had an appointment on October 11th and getting the pregnancy confirmed and talking with the RN really helped me feel more at ease. Hearing her say that their tests are really sensitive and that there is no doubt that I am pregnant made me breathe a sigh of relief. I have a sonogram scheduled for November 15th so if it doesn't become real to me by then it surely will when I see that little one in there!

I am seven weeks along and I am due June 9th, 2012. We are anxious for the coming weeks and we can't wait to find out whether we are having a boy or a girl. That was the first thing Kyle wanted to know but I had to inform him that it would be quite some time before we could find that out. :) Anyway, we're thankful, excited, and would appreciate all of your prayers for a healthy baby!

For My Husband on His Birthday

My husband's birthday is tomorrow and as I bake his chocolate cupcakes with chocolate ganache frosting and prepare for the festivities of tomorrow, I am reminded to take a moment and think of all the reasons I love and appreciate Kyle Kerby.

1. The first thing that drew me to him was his genuine kindness and care for a complete stranger. He is a far better person than I am.

2. I remember watching him worship and being struck by the fact that he wasn't putting on a show.

3. He is a gentleman.

4. His sense of style. :)

5. His laugh when he is truly enjoying himself.

6. The way he treats his mother.

7. The way he honors me.

8. His silliness....even though it does annoy me at times. ;)

9. The way he takes care of me.

10. The times he surprises me with the little things; like flowers, a new book, or coming home from work early.

11. His ability to show emotion.

12. He is very talented in a plethora of things. He knows more than he thinks he does and would never tell you.

13. He is humble.

14. He is intelligent.

15. When I hear him pray, talk about God, or stand up for his convictions, I am incredibly encouraged.

16. The way he loves his dog. :)

17. He is selfless.

18. He is loyal and faithful.

19. He is honest.

20. He's not perfect but he's perfect for me.

Being married to Kyle is teaching me a great deal about myself. Marriage tends to put a spot light on a person's imperfections because you realize how selfish and ungodly you really are. But at the same time, marriage shows you how great of a need there is to be close to Jesus. Thanks to my husband and our marriage, I am being sanctified and, little by little, becoming more like Jesus. It will take a lifetime which is why "I am my beloved's and he is mine". . .for a lifetime.

Thanks for being my husband, Kyle. I love you!

Hurt 2.0: Inside the World of Today's Teenagers

Chap Clark has provided some of the best resources for a look into today’s youth culture because he has done years of research by conducting surveys, interviews, and observing teenage environments. One of the books that have grown out of this research is Hurt 2.0, which is a follow up to the original Hurt that was published in 2004. Clark wrote Hurt 2.0 to reiterate what he has discovered and to hopefully reach more people with this very important information concerning a very crucial group of our society.

Hurt 2.0 consists of three parts, the first one being “The Changing Adolescent World.” In chapter one Clark first introduces and defines what adolescence is and how it has changed. Then, in chapter two, he defines and describes the primary, essential issue of today’s adolescents, which is that of systemic abandonment. The result of abandonment, which is something he calls “the world beneath,” is discussed in chapter three.

Part two is “The Landscape of the World Beneath” where twelve different units of the world beneath are discussed. Peers, school, family, sports, sex, busyness, stress, ethics, morality, partying, gaming, and social networking are some of the most important units to look at to see how the issue of abandonment has affected adolescent development in these areas. Clark provides information based on his research, gives scenarios that he has encountered, and shares pieces of conversations to give his readers an understanding of each unit from the point of view of an adolescent.

In this edition, Clark adds a chapter about “kids at the margins.” Here he takes a look at how vulnerable (under privileged) and privileged kids are affected by abandonment. He concludes that their development and experiences are quite different from the average, mainstream adolescent yet their needs and the results of abandonment are still the same.

In part three, “Where Do We Go from Here?” Clark shares three major needs of adolescents which all come down to one over arching need, the need for genuinely caring adults. And finally, Clark gives five strategies on how to turn the tide of systemic abandonment. Each one consists of adults taking an interest, understanding, and advocating for the adolescents that are within their reach.

I have read many of Chap Clark’s books and I have not found one that I do not like; Hurt 2.0 is no exception. His viewpoint on adolescent development and systemic abandonment confirmed for me what I had always suspected. Adults have systemically abandoned the young for the sake of their own agendas and, having left adolescents to figure out life on their own, have heaped expectations and developmentally damaging situations upon them.

Though the research part of Clark’s project may seem cold, he also writes from personal experience and involvement as a father and a volunteer. And though he is confident in his position he is also sensitive towards both the adult mindset and the adolescent’s world. He does not take sides but does claim to be an advocate for adolescents and shows genuine compassion and concern for them. He balances facts and emotions very well and gives a well-organized, well thought out, researched, and heart-pulling glimpse into the world of today’s teenager. He builds his argument well by beginning with the basics and then taking us deeper into the teenage world and giving realistic examples of how abandonment has affected youth.

I also love the way he respects teenagers through his honesty when he has made a mistake and his ability to speak out for them. He does not downplay the struggles, emotions, and confusing worldview of adolescents. And as hard as it is to learn the truth of why teenagers are the way they are today, Clark accepts it and implores the rest of adult society to accept it as well.

Like I have already stated, reading Clark’s books confirmed for me the view that I have been developing over the past few years, but after reading Hurt 2.0 I realized something. A question began to creep into my mind. How realistic is Clark’s solution to the issue of abandonment? I completely agree that adolescents need solid relationships with adults who will invest in them and that the lack there of has created a longer period of adolescence and has caused teenagers to find a way to survive on their own. What I am not so sure about is the solution of creating a seemingly idealistic environment where all adolescents are treated with equality and fairness. I am not saying that I do not want this for our teenagers. What I am saying is that that kind of environment is not realistic and will never exist.
Take sports for example. Clark claims that by the time adolescents reach high school their athletic role has already been decided. There are students who have and those who have not. There are those who can perform and deliver the results the coach, school, and parents want and then there are those who simply cannot. The fact that sports are so competitive now and no longer fun hurts the physic of adolescents. The solution that Clark gives it to allow each player an equal amount of playing time and for the non-athletes to be given the same opportunities as the athletes. I wish this were possible but it is not. Our world does not work that way.

I do admit that I may have misunderstood Clark’s position but I do think that we would agree that the issues adolescents face will never go away. In fact, Clark did state that since writing Hurt things have only gotten worse for adolescents and the amount of caring adults has diminished. That is discouraging and disheartening, especially since the solution to systemic abandonment is unattainable. However, a change, a shift in the right direction, however so small, is possible. This shift can happen with each adult, parent, teacher, coach, and youth worker that does choose to put off their own selfish agenda and invest himself or herself in the life of a teenager. For that reason, I would recommend this book to every adult who would be willing to read it. I believe that this book brings up a ton of vital information that adults need to know in order to begin to understand the world in which adolescents live. This book answers the “what is wrong with kids today?” question and though the answer may be something adults do not want to hear it is nonetheless true. It is important that adults read this book, or at least be presented with this information in some way, so that the before mentioned shift can begin to occur.

There are many concepts within this book that can be applied to life very easily, especially since Clark illustrated these concepts with real life situations, conversations, notes, and poems from existing adolescents. The concept I want to look at though is one of the strategies Clark gives to turn the tide of abandonment. The one that stood out to me was the one that stated, “Those who work with youth should be trained in the changing youth culture.” I whole-heartedly agree with Clark that this is very important. I have seen the importance of this more and more over the years as I have observed youth pastors and workers with their youth groups. Youth pastors tend to have passion, zeal, excitement, and a lot of plans but they fail to understand the true need of adolescents. They fail to look beyond the games, the pizza, the lock-ins, and the flashy events. This concept also applies to parents and teachers who may have good intentions but who have no idea how their adolescents feel, think, and what they encounter on a day-to-day basis.

I believe a way to train these youth pastors, workers, parents and teachers, is for those who have already been trained to offer seminars, classes, or conferences. I believe that there are already some options out there but I think it would be especially helpful for churches to have small groups that are specifically for parents of teenagers, high school teachers, and youth workers where the information and concepts from this book are discussed. Of course, these small groups would have to be lead by people who have already been trained and are thus qualified to lead such a group. This is something I would like to see happen though as I believe it would be very beneficial. 

Youth culture and this concept of abandonment are not easy to understand and accept but for the sake of our young we must begin to care, to invest, and to reach out. I am thankful for the research Chap Clark has done and continues to do and for the resources that he has provided, such as Hurt 2.0. My hope is that the information that this book contains will spread and continue to develop so that, little by little, adolescents can have a voice again.

Meet My Favorite Hip Hop Artist

Have you ever heard of Lecrae? If you haven't you need to go to YouTube right now and listen to one of his songs. 

Have you done it yet? Go! Do it now!

Seriously...you can't read any further until you do. I suggest "God is Enough." If you can't understand the lyrics, look them up on Google.

Lecrae is the best rapper and it's not because he raps well, though he does....I assume...I wouldn't really know being a white girl. 

The reason he's the best is because of his lyrics. His lyrics are solid. Why? Because he raps theology. What? Did you read that right? Yes, he raps theology, reformed theology. He raps Truth and it's clear that he does it not for himself but for the glory of God. His testimony is awesome, his humility is convicting, and his unashamed declaration of the Gospel is encouraging. God has given him a great gift and is using it to spread His Truth. I think it's awesome how God uses the things of the world, such as misfits and hip hop, to build His Kingdom. 

They said You came for the lame,

I'm the lamest

I made a mess

But You say You'll erase it

I'll take it

They say You came for the lame,

I'm the lamest

I broke my life but You say You'll replace it

I'll take it

- Just Like You by Lecrae

Check out this great interview with Lecrae and Trip Lee to learn more about Lecrae and his ministry.

An Interview with Lecrae and Trip Lee

Ecclesiastes and the Gospel of John

I have a confession to make.

I don't read my Bible as often as I should. I don't know what it is about doing the things I should do but they are never as easy to do as they sound. I mean, I pick up and read books all the time with little effort. Yet, to read my Bible, I have to make myself do it. I have to make a conscious effort. That doesn't seem right and I know it is something I need to work on. The Word of God should be something I crave yet I leave it sitting on my bedside table day after day. After long periods of not reading my Bible I do begin to thirst for it so I begin reading, everyday, for a about a week or so. It doesn't last very long.

When I do go to read, like today for instance, I always seem to find myself opening up to the book of Ecclesiastes or the Gospel of John. I have read the Bible in its entirety and I find awesome truth in every book but there is just something about Ecclesiastes and John.

The book of Ecclesiastes is very poetic which is something I appreciate. I love the way it is written and how it seems to be a struggle all the way up until the end when the simple conclusion is this: "fear God and keep His commandments for He will bring every act under judgement" (my paraphrase).  I love that because I used to write poetry and most of my poetry was very sorrowful. I have always been one to embrace sadness and feelings of hopelessness. I loved to write a poem that was full of sorrow and a sense of lost and then at the end put in a little ray of hope. I think that's why I like Ecclesiastes so much. Life is futile, pointless, the book says. Yet at the end we find a purpose and we find a bit of hope. The purpose is to fear God and keep His commandments and the hope is that He will judge every act whether it be good or evil. To me, that's the reality of life. Life is hard, hurtful, and sometimes there is a sense of hopelessness yet I know that, as a follow of Christ, I have a purpose and a hope. To me, that's beautiful.

Courtesy of Still Light Media

The Gospel of John is another favorite for three reasons: the perspective of the Gospel given, chapter 17, and the mentions of the disciple whom Jesus loved. Of the four Gospels John is the oddball. (I tend to love anything that is unusual, different, and out of the ordinary). All you have to do is take a look at the beginning of John and it's obvious that it is not like the others. (Which is why Matthew, Mark, and Luke are called the synoptic Gospels). The book gives a different perspective of the Gospel and it is quite interesting to study. When reading John a few years ago chapter 17 really stood out to me. In this chapter Jesus is praying for His disciples and it is so moving. Anytime I read it I feel closer to God because Jesus wasn't just praying for the twelve but for everyone who would believe; that includes me. That's crazy to think about but Jesus prayed that all His disciples would be one with each other and one with Himself and the Father. Just to read Jesus' words to the Father is awesome but to know that He was beseeching God on behalf of His followers is even better; it makes it personal and real. Another thing about the book of John is the mention of "the disciple whom Jesus loved." This has always been fascinating to me. Who this disciple was is debated yet unknown but the traditional belief is that it was John himself. Another theory I have heard is that the disciple was Lazarus which is an interesting theory but only a theory. The fact that this title of "the disciple whom Jesus loved" even existed is interesting to me. And it is even more interesting that it was this disciple who wrote the book of John (check out John 21:24). I would like to believe that this disciple is indeed the apostle John (the same John who traditionally wrote 1st, 2nd, and 3rd John and Revelation). However, there is no way to truly know. The fact that there was such a disciple is intriguing and I love the way he ends his book, "And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself would not contain the books that would be written" (John 21:25). I must say, "Mr. Beloved Disciple, I like your style."

So, if you're like me and you haven't read your Bible in a while, pick it up, dust it off, and dive into one of these books. You may find yourself going back for a second, third, or 100th read.

Savvy Boheme

Savvy Boheme is saving my skin.

That's an odd statement but I'll tell you why it's true. I used to never wash my face or use any kind of lotion or body care product besides your basic shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. I know, shame on me. I hated washing my face or using lotion daily because it was just another thing to do in the bathroom when I'm a "get-in-and-get-out" kind of girl. I don't like "wasting time" taking care of the "necessities" when I could be reading a book or baking some cupcakes! But then a wonderful, godly, and wise woman that I have always admired, Keri, came up with some body care products that made me want to spend some extra time in the shower! Out of a creative mind and a desire for authentic body care products, Savvy Boheme was born. Keri has created a plethora of body care products that are made from real, skin lovin, and authentically effective ingredients and essential oils. There is nothing fake or incomprehensible about her products. You can read the ingredients and you can not only pronounce them but you know what they are! I love that! Her sugar scrubs and moisturizers contain healing properties that will actually do their job. Unlike that "other stuff" that just sits on top of your skin, Savvy Boheme products will soak into your skin and do work! These body care products are real and the experience using them is enjoyable. Hours after the initial application my skin still feels smooth, soft, and healthy. This stuff is legit!

My favorite products are the African Black Soap, Kathryn's Reserve sugar scrub/moisturizer (Spearmint/Eucalyptus), House Reserve Soaps: Tigerlily, and the Bees-Wax lip balm (with grapefruit and cinnamon). I especially love using the sugar scrub on my face and hands on a daily basis and then using the soap, as well as the sugar scrub, in the shower. I never thought I would be excited about body care products but these are definitely something to get excited about! Your skin will love it too!

Check out www.savvyboheme.com and/or the Facebook page Savvy Boheme: Hand-Crafted, Authentic Body Care. You won't regret it!

My Response to A Love that Multiples by Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar

The Duggars, a family of 21, and the stars of their TV reality series, 19 Kids and Counting, have been in the public eye for a couple of years. People from all over have found themselves fascinated with the dynamics of this large family. Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar wrote their first book, The Duggars: 20 and Counting, three years ago and have just recently come out with their second book, A Love that Multiplies. I have not read the first book but due to my growing interest in this family, I picked up the second book hoping to gain some insight into their beliefs and how they make their family work. 

I am apart of a family of 9 so I understand the dynamics of a big family. However, with 19, things are surely going to be vastly different from the dynamic I grew up in. I was mainly interested in learning about their beliefs and their seemingly legalistic mindset. I truly adore how much they value children and that they have put their trust in God when it comes to the size of their family. However, they do things very differently and I have wanted to know the reason why. Why don't they wear shorts? Why do the girls always wear skirts? How does Michelle use such a soft tone of voice ALL THE TIME? Do the older kids go to college? How are the kids so well behaved? Do Jim Bob and Michelle shelter their children too much since they have strict limits on internet use and do not own a TV? WHY do they do what they do and HOW do they make these decisions? Are they being biblical or legalistic? These are all questions I have pondered and have searched for answers on their website, through interviews, and their show. I was never quite satisfied so when I found their newest book at Mardel I decided to give it a try and see if it answered any of my questions... and it did.

I read the book within two days and found it to be very informative. It does answer a lot of questions and gives an inside, behind the stage,view into their life. I had mixed feelings while reading the book. There were some things Jim Bob or Michelle would write and I would whole-heartily agree and then there were other things that made me stop, take note, and think over later. Their heart for their children is so clear and the fact that they put great value on children drips from every page. How seriously they take on their parental role is inspiring and how much they love each other and their family is refreshing. They have strong convictions and beliefs which is so different from most American families. They really are a fascinating and encouraging family who have a strong faith and are very closely knitted together. 

When watching them on TV it is easy to wonder, "is this really them?" "Do the children really behave that well all the time?" "Is this real?" It's TV after all and anything can be portrayed on TV as real. Watching the way they interact with each other, the way they speak, how helpful the older kids are, and how Michelle and Jim Bob never seem to lose their patience, it's hard to believe that they are human. In the book, however, they really open up and reveal blood, guts, and true human weakness. Michelle shares some moments when she felt inadequate, afraid, and had lost her strength. She shares times when she became angry and spoke harshly with her kids and how God taught her to control her anger and her tongue. Jim Bob shares his inadequacies and stories of financial struggles in the past. They both admit that they are not experts and that they are still learning how to be good parents. It was great to read about those moments of weakness because it revealed that they are indeed human and that they, just like everyone else, had to start somewhere. 

The issues I do have with this family is that they seem to be very extreme (unnecessarily so) in their beliefs. They do hold to the Christian faith and live by Christian principles which is great but they seem to take it to the extreme. I have often thought of the pharisees when reading about or watching the Duggars. They appear to be "King James Version only" and they seem to take the Bible very literally. They don't deal with context, audience, culture, or the time in which the events of the Bible took place and was written. As a Bible student, I believe keeping these things (context, audience, culture, and the time) in mind while reading the Bible is extremely important in correctly understanding and applying the content. The Bible is always true and always accurate but we must be careful that we do not take things out of context and construe the true meaning of the text. I am afraid that the Duggars take what they read too literally (especially the Old Testament) and make it apply when it does not and should not. They also seem (at least in their book) to put a heavy emphases on the Old Testament. Even though they stated that as Christians we are not under the Old Testament law, they hold to a lot of Old Testament practices. They do not eat pork, they abstain from sex for 80 days after they have a girl and 40 days after they have a boy, and they determine their standard of modesty from verses in Exodus, Isaiah, and Deuteronomy. The good thing is that they don't hold to the view that everyone should follow these practices. They have just chosen to do so for their own family and I do not believe they are doing anything wrong; I simply think it is unnecessary. 

Another issue I have is the fact that they are on the verge of overly sheltering their children. I understand not having a TV. When it comes right down to it it CAN be a waste of time and there IS a lot of immorality portrayed all over the screen. I also understand having strict limitations on the internet, especially for the boys, because it DOES provide a great temptation. What I do have an issue with is the fact that they have their kids go through an online program called CollegePlus to obtain their college degree. The plus side of CollegePlus is that you can get your bachelors degree in two years and for a much lower cost than a college or university. However, it's all online. One of the reasons the Duggars choose this form of college education is because they don't want their kids being separated from the family and for them to be exposed to the other beliefs and philosophies that are encountered in college. Now, I understand this reasoning while the children are still young and in the grades pre-school through high school. This is one of the reasons I want to home school my own children. I want their education to be saturated with the Word of God and I want Kyle and I to be their teachers and disciplers. This is when that strong foundation can be placed, discipleship can occur, and relationships be formed so by the time they reach college age, they will be ready to encounter the lies the world has to throw at them. They will know what is right and what is wrong. They will be able to discern truth from lies. And even if, for whatever reason, they can't or won't, they will eventually learn on their own. I want my kids to encounter the world. I want them to know of other beliefs and philosophies. I don't want to, nor can I, shelter them from all that is a reality in this world. So because of that I say that the Duggars are a bit too sheltered in that way. 

All in all though, the Duggar family has great values and principles. They do strive to live a godly, Christ-centered life, and though they can be a bit extreme, what they do seems to be working for them. Jim Bob and Michelle seem to have a strong marriage and it is the foundation to their large, close-knit, and very loving family. 

Though my own family will be very different from the Duggars, I did learn a lot from their book that I want to remember when I become a parent. It was encouraging, informative, and gave me ideas of what I need to work on so that, when the time comes, I'll be a godly mother for my children. And though I don't agree with everything the Duggars do, say, or believe, their view of children as blessings, the great importance they put on their role as parents, and all the love, energy, time, prayer, and heart they put into raising their children is truly inspiring. 

Teenage Dating

The topic of teenage dating has been on my mind lately. I have four younger siblings and try as I might I cannot keep up with who they are dating. It saddens me to watch from a distance their ever changing relationship status. I know how they feel and I know what they desire. I felt and desired it too. However, the constant change of boyfriends and girlfriends causes unnecessary drama, broken hearts, and greater temptation to give pieces of yourself away. I remember when I was in jr. high and a lady told me that with each boyfriend there is a desire to give more and more of yourself away and that eventually you will have given all of yourself away to someone who is not your spouse. This is so true and I wish I had listened.

I didn't make perfect dating choices when I was a teenager but I didn't change boyfriends every few weeks either. My entire desire was to find the one I would be with forever but unfortunately I gave my emotions too much attention and didn't guard my heart. My mom and other women I looked up to always told me, "guard your heart," but I never knew what that meant and never thought to ask. I assumed I was guarding my heart because I didn't fall for every guy that looked my way. I was picky about who I began a relationship with and always prayed about it first. I don't know that I always listened to God though and I should have sought the advice of my parents more often. I made a lot of decisions on my own and that was unwise. It was only a few years ago that I finally learned that my own heart and mind cannot always be trusted. I wish I had learned this much earlier in life.

I believe I have said this before but I'll say it again for the sake of the topic; I wish I had not dated during my teenage years. For the most part it was a waste of time and emotions and what I did learn through it probably could have been learned a different way. My argument to myself always was, "he could be the guy I end up marrying!" or "some young couples do end up getting married after high school!" I always believed that dating was meant to lead to marriage and that it wasn't about having as many boyfriends as possible. I had the right goal but was too young and too emotionally (and hormonally) driven to make wise decisions until marriage was even possible.

It is hard because as much as I want to see my siblings and their friends making good decisions and waiting to date, I know that they won't listen. I didn't. I had to learn the hard way and more than likely, they will too. It is even harder to think about when I am a parent of a teenager what I will teach my kids about dating and relationships. Right now I am leaning towards restricting dating during high school and encouraging courtship afterwards but I guess Kyle and I will cross that bridge when we come to it. It is a scary thought though and it is disheartening to see so many teenagers make poor decisions and watch them give their hearts away with every kiss, with every immature "I love you," and with every new relationship. They don't realize how quickly these years go by and how much of their time, energy, and emotion is put into relationships that will most likely never last. Things don't have to be this way but most of the time the reality is this: you learn things too late. I guess it's called growing up.




Books of interest on this topic:

Before You Meet Prince Charming
Eyes Wide Open: Avoiding the Heartbreak of Emotional Promiscuity

The Child Banning Movement: Children Are an Inconvenience

I was disturbed to discover that there is such a thing as "the child banning movement" and that it is spreading. Businesses are banning children from their premises. Why? Because adults without children want peace and quiet. They don't want to have to listen to a crying baby or a child throwing a tantrum. They don't want to put up with children running around and getting in their way. What's wrong with this? This movement is only furthering the "children are an inconvenience" mindset. This mindset has been growing for years. Children are no longer seen as blessings, a full quiver, or as our future. They are seen as an inconvenience to the adult agenda. They are in the way, they hinder our plans, and they cause frustration. Our adult society is becoming more and more selfish as time progresses. We are so caught up in our own agenda that we fail to make the helpless, impressionable, and immature children that God has given us a priority. We forget that children are just that, they are children. They are not adults; you cannot expect them to act as adults. It is our job, the adult, the parent, to train children so that they become the mature and capable adult we all want them to be. But we fail to do even that. We want to ban them, remove them more and more from the public, from our functioning society for the sake of the adults peace and quiet. Children are vital to our future yet we ignore them, restrict them, and treat them as an inconvenience.

There are terribly behaved children out there and any child can be frustrating and infuriating at times. The issue here is bad parenting and even when good parenting takes place, there is simply sin nature. Banning children from public places is not the cure for bad parenting. It is not the answer.

Children are not an inconvenience. They should not be viewed that way. They are blessings. Psalm 127:4-5 says, "Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; they will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate." This is how we should view children. They are also fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:13-15 says, "For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth."

Here is an insightful quote from a very wise man, my husband.
"I used to get annoyed at hearing crying babies in public, like restaurants & the like, but a sermon by Voddie Baucham changed that. Whenever I get annoyed now I remind myself of the value placed upon kids, who will be kids because they are only learning to be future adults.

The sadness is twofold: bad parenting (but let's be honest, great parenting doesn't always equal pleasant children, all the time) & a high view of convenience. We have bought in to the "how many kids can we afford" mindset, the kids are inconveniences belief. Well let's not think this way anymore. They are arrows in our quivers, blessings, & the greatest way to pass on Christ's reign."

Kyle put it very well using Psalm 127. "They are arrows in our quivers, blessings, & the greatest way to pass on Christ's reign." If only every adult, parent or not, had this mindset. We need to begin to treat children as precious gifts from God and embrace our parental role (or adult role) by cherishing them (tempers and all), training them, teaching them, and bringing them up in the way they should go and when they are old (have matured into an adult) they will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6). 


People ask, "What is wrong with kids these days? What to do?" The problem isn't the children. The answer is not banning children which will and is leading to failing to integrate them into society. The problem is adults, parents, and the answer is to reevaluate our view of children and their value. The answer is to take back our authoritative yet loving role of taking these precious gifts and guiding them through life. They desperately need that.



If you would like to read some articles on this issue click here and here. And to read an inspiring article on motherhood as a calling click here.

Advice for Newlyweds

My one year wedding anniversary is fast approaching and in the year since that day, a lot of people I know have and are getting married. It is the season of life that we are in and it is an exciting time. I want to share some of the wisdom I have gained from this first year of marriage.

There is no formula to a successful and satisfying marriage. There is no manual or recipe. As I've told a few brides-to-be, you just have to jump in there and do it and figure it out along the way. You can go to pre-marital counseling (which I recommend), you can read books (which I also recommend), and you can seek the wisdom of mature and godly married couples (again, I recommend). You can do all these things but you will never be prepared enough and know all that you need to know to make your marriage work. All that you need is a faith and trust in God, a covenant of love and commitment, and a lifetime to learn, grow, and strengthen your marriage bond.

With that said, a list of tips, wisdom, and advice never hurts. It can serve as a good reminder and a gentle nudge in the right direction.

Advice for wives:

You cannot change your husband. You have great influence over him but you cannot change him. Pray for his heart and God will change him if necessary.

Speak words of life to your husband. He needs to know that he's a hunk and that he's the only man for you. :)

Obey with a quiet and gentle spirit. What he asks of you may not always make sense to you but just do it and when you must speak, speak with respect.

Pick your battles. Sometimes it just isn't worth it.

Laugh at the things that annoy you (like his laundry being everywhere but the hamper and the silly little things that he does that don't make sense). It will save you from unnecessary anger and irritation.

Be direct. Don't hint at things...he'll never get it.

Know your husband's love language and show him respect.

Advice for husbands:

Know your wife's love language and lather her in the love she needs.

Study your wife. Know her in every way you can.

All women like flowers, chocolates, and being showered with little gifts but at the end of the day all we really want is your love, attention, presence, and approval.

Keep the romance alive with sweet words, kisses, hugs, and random outings and gifts "just because."

Take the time to listen to your wife. No, really, listen. Don't just hear words, listen with your eyes and heart as well as your ears.

Marriage wisdom:

Your sex life is a vital part of a healthy marriage. Talk about your sex life and know each others needs.

Resolve arguments as soon as possible and do your best to not go to bed angry.

Even when there is anger, at the end of the day show some love whether that be holding hands, a kiss goodnight, or just cuddling up next to each other. It's healthy.

Practice patience and understanding. Remember, you are two sinners who come from different lives trying to live as one. It's not easy for either of you so be understanding.

Most of all, remember that marriage is a blessing and a picture of the Gospel. It is not a cure for loneliness, lust, financial issues, unhappiness, or any problems. It is a covenant between a man and a woman and it is a gift given to us by God for His glory. It comes with amazing joy and unexpected problems. It is not like the movies or the fairytale. It is better and it is good when Christ is in it.

My Best Friend's Wedding/MPB 2011/Back to Life

Hello readers!

I've been silent for a while, I know. The past few weeks have been busy! The first week of July was full of wedding events and details as I helped my best friend pull off her special day! Though it was the most stress I have experienced in a long time, it was an honor to be a part of it all and make sure that my dear friend had everything her heart desired. She is now married and I am thrilled to watch her step into her new role and begin this new journey of her life! My husband stilled the memories with the click of our cameras and we have been working hard on mastering those images. The pic on the right is a sneak peak. :)

The following week (in fact, the very morning after the wedding) I joined Criswell professor Baltazar Alvarez and 21 other students (Criswell students and high school students) for a mission trip down to Brownsville, Texas. Can I just say. . . It. Was. AWESOME.

However, I went into the trip tired, stressed, drained, and in much need of a day's break. I was not ready for the trip at all. I had not seen much of my husband and had not had much sleep. I was expecting a long, hard week and I was dreading it. I prayed and asked God to give me a willing heart to serve and the energy to do so. I wanted so much to want to be there and not simply go through the motions just to get through the week and go home. God answered my prayer and blessed me with a fantastic week full of serving Him with a willing attitude, laughter, unity, and a trip that I will never forget. Everyone got along so well and there were a ton of "you-had-to-be-there" moments. As far as ministry goes we partnered with First Baptist Church of Brownsville and helped them with their VBS in the evenings and used the mornings to do some projects. I worked in the youth building, the Freeway. Me and three other Criswell students led the entire youth program the whole week. It was a lot of fun and a great experience.

The week was a success. Buildings got painted, work was completed, the Truth was shared, and people came to know Christ. By the end of it all we were exhausted and ready to get home but we all agreed the trip would go down in history. I can't explain why. . .you just had to be there. :)

Now, it is back to life. It has been great to be back at home with my husband and spend some time with him. It was weird to be without the second half of me for a week. I missed him. I never want to be away from him that long again and hopefully I won't have to. It just doesn't seem right. ;)

Simply Student Ministry

The first six chapters of Simple Student Ministry by Eric Geiger and Jeff Borton explain the need, the why, and the how of creating a simple student ministry. The student ministries in most churches today are complex, confused, and unfocused. Youth group is a baby-sitting service to keep the kids off the streets and out of their parents’ hair for one night. It is a form of entertainment and a reason to have a party under the guise of “student ministry.” This kind of student ministry lacks focus and purpose so to combat such ministries, Geiger and Borton wrote a book to provide a way of “doing” student ministry that is simple, focused, and has a clear process.

Chapter one explains how student ministry became so complicated and unfocused. It is because of expectations of others, traditions of the church, and a deficient view of discipleship.  The authors work to biblically define discipleship and change the common viewpoint. Discipleship is not about programs and information but rather about transformation. Discipleship is a process that transforms people.

Chapter two introduces simple student ministry and explains why a simple, strategic process in discipleship is important. The four reasons the authors give is one, a simple process creates space for relationships; two, it engages students in ministry and mission; three, it fosters less dependence on programs and four; it operates with great intentionality. Using a simple process like this feeds the spiritual and emotional needs of teenagers on a longer-term and deeper basis. It has the ingredients to create the environment where disciples can be produced.

Chapter three introduces the first of four key elements to the simple process in student ministry. The first element is clarity. Create a blueprint, a process, of how discipleship will be done within the ministry. How discipleship is done, how this process is carried out, impacts what kind of students are produced. So it is important that clarity is gained and a clear process is determined. The authors give four aspects of clarity that are important in creating a blueprint. One is to define the process, then illustrate the process, then measure it (or in other words, evaluate it) and then communicate the process to those it may concern.

Chapter four introduces the second element in the simple process, movement. Movement is moving students through the process and having clear next steps. It is moving students from a low level of commitment (showing up on Wednesday night) to a high level of commitment (being apart of a ministry team). Programs are apart of this movement element but only as tools to move students through the discipleship process. They should be used strategically and sequentially so that they reflect the process. Overall, movement needs to be intentional. There has to be a clear point and focus.

Chapter five introduces the third element in the simple process. The third element is alignment, which happens because of unity and a common purpose. To create alignment there must be a shared vision of the process by leaders and volunteers. Those who share the vision and passion place them in the environments that are vital to the discipleship process and offer them accountability. Continually align and make sure that the program and events offered are aligned with the process and the leaders and volunteers are in unity.

The fourth element is focus and is introduced in chapter six. Deviation from the process can and will happen. Obstacles can present themselves that will steal focus off of the process and when focus is diverted, chaos and clutter can occur. The authors give ways in which to bring greater focus to the student ministry. One way to ensure focus is to eliminate the nonessentials by saying no. Another way to remain focused is to limit adding programs and to reduce special events. If a program or event is not going to help the process then do not implement it. Use the programs that are already in place to achieve the goals.

The rest of the book gave examples of large churches, parachurches, and small and midsize churches that use a simple student ministry approach. Though the sizes of these churches and parachurches were different, they all had a simple approach to student ministry. In fact, they all had the same approach, just the way they went about doing the process was a bit different for each church. The approach for every church was this, to get the students to first connect with God, then connect them to others, and then connect them to ministry and the world. Though each church articulated this process differently, this was the basic process of every church. However, how this process was carried out was different.

In the large and small churches, some student ministries met Sunday night while others met Saturday or Wednesday night to implement their first phase of the process, connect to God. This first phase always consisted of teaching and worship. This is where students can come at any time and connect with God through the teaching and worship.

The second phase, connect with others, is done through small groups. Whether the groups met right after the service or throughout the week, they all shared the same purpose and goal, that the students would do life together and have an adult mentor to guide them. These groups would hold each other accountable, pray for each other, and go deeper with the message from the large group service.

The third phase, connect with ministry and/or the world, is done through a variety of ways. The adult small group leader would encourage the students to get involved with any of the ministry teams in the church. This could be the worship band, the nursery, and a greeter; anywhere the student could use his or her gifts. Some churches also offered mission trips for the students to go on. These mission trips would range from one week to a month long in duration. The point of this phase is to get the students out in the world and actively serving.

The parachurches definitely do the process differently. The process is more or less the same but it looks quite different from the large and small churches. The parachurches mentioned in the book either meet together on a school campus or in someone’s home. First Priority has four phases implemented in four weeks. The first week is Training Week, which is used to teach the basics of the Christian faith. The second week is Encouragement Week, which is where a guest speaker or one of the students will share their testimony or an inspiring message. The third week is Accountability Week, which has three main focuses: prayer, plan, and perform. The prayer phase is used to give the students opportunity to pray for their unsaved friends. The plan phase is used to prepare for Mission Week. The perform phase is used to hold students accountable to serving their school. The students of the club will do something to share the love of Jesus with the other students, like hand out donuts in the morning or bottled water. The fourth week is Mission Week, which is where students invite other students to come to the club for free pizza but really to hear a Gospel message. These four weeks are repeated a couple of times throughout the school year.

Young Life has the same process as the large and small churches. They meet in someone’s home and experience three elements of the club: music, humor, and a message. This is the entry point phase where students can bring their friends and introduce them to the club and to Jesus. The next phase is small group Bible study. In this phase a small group of students get together with their Young Life leader and have Bible study and are developed to be leaders. The next phase is Work Crew. This is where the students leave home for a month and work to serve others under a leader who will pour into them. When they come back they are considered leaders and have the responsibility of serving the other students.

Though these churches and parachurches are of different size, their simple student ministry strategies were very similar. They all had the same basic process of connecting students with God, with others, and with the world. Any church or organization of any size and means can implement this process in such a way that students will be discipled.

This book was an eye-opener to how simple and purposeful student ministry can be. It is amazing how clear the process can be and how much it makes sense. It makes me wonder why so many churches and student ministries are not getting it. I believe that student ministries will be a lot more effective if this process of connecting students with God, to others, and to the world is implemented. If I were ever to be apart of a discipleship ministry I would definitely use this strategy. There is nothing I disagree with. I think it is easily manageable and that it can be made unique to any ministry. I would involve parents as much as possible, especially as small group leaders and mentors. Ideally, I want parents to take the responsibility of discipling their own children but having trusted adults help that discipleship process along is a definite blessing.

The reasons I think this strategy is great is because it provides relationships, mentorship, accountability, encouragement, Biblical study, and leadership development. These are all things a teenager needs to be discipled and to be prepared for life after high school. If more student ministries began using this simple process, more teenagers would be put within a discipleship environment and Lord willingly, more teenagers would develop a relationship with God and become leaders in their church and their community.

Evangelism and Student Ministry

*This is a paper I wrote for my summer class over a book called Evangelism Remixed by Dave Rahn and Terry Linhart. It is about how to be an evangelistic student ministry. It's good stuff and information I want to share. I hope you enjoy!*

The responsibilities of an adult leader in an evangelistic youth ministry are numerous but the four I want to focus on are the adult as a mentor, a model of evangelism, a coach, and an influencer.

​The adult role as a mentor is a hard role to fill. To be a mentor to a teenager means a lot of time, emotional and spiritual investment, support, guidance, and a continuing out pour of love and godly wisdom. It is a personal commitment to show students the way to follow Christ and to live a godly life. The way this is done is by being an example and living what is taught. This means mentors have to be spiritually mature, continually in the Word for their own edification, and have a passion to see teenagers become mature Christians who love the Lord and are sharing the Gospel with their peers.

​Adults also need to be a model of evangelism to their students. If adults want to see teenagers evangelizing their peers at school and other social settings, then the adults need to be modeling that for them. Without a model, teenagers are less likely to evangelize because they do not know what that looks like or how it is done. Evangelism training can be helpful but without seeing it play out in real life teenagers may not be able to bridge that gap between theory and application on their own. Also, students can and may hold the mentality that if they do not see their adult leaders or parents evangelizing then why should they. It is vital that adults be a model and lead by example.

​Another responsibility of adults in a youth ministry is to be a coach or, in other words, a form of accountability. Not only should adults be a mentor and a model but they should also keep students accountable and be personally aware of what is going on in the teen’s life. Teens need adults who are actively involved in their life and are deeply invested in them. This should be primarily the parents’ place of involvement but not all parents are even in their kid’s life and even those who are need additional help and support from other adults.

​Adults also hold a great deal of influence over teenagers. The adults who have the greatest influence are parents but youth pastors, workers, small group leaders, and any adult who works with teenagers in some way influences their lives. Adults should pay close attention to each individual student and what is going on in their life so that they can challenge, encourage, and provoke students to a deeper relationship with God.

​As a youth leader, the way I would fulfill these areas is by gathering together a group of like minded adults and assigning each one of us a small group of three or less students to invest in through study of the Word, active involvement in the life of each student, prayer, and partnership with the parents or present guardian. I would meet with my students and get to know them on an appropriate level of intimacy and get involved in their lives. That means going to their sport games, seeing them play in the band, going to their award ceremonies, having lunch with them at school, and participating as much as I can in their life outside of the church.

​I would get them involved in mission opportunities where they can see me serving and evangelizing. I would teach them through example and then help them create their own method or style of evangelism that they can use with their peers.

​I would also do what I could to get to know the students’ parents. It is vital that the parents be the key influence and key source of discipleship in a teen’s life. I should only be there to assist, bridge the great generation gap, and help the parents do their part. In the beginning I would most likely spend most of my time getting to know the parents and assessing the parent-teen relationship so that I would better know my role.

​Chapter five focused on the importance of prayer in a youth ministry that wants to be evangelistic. Prayer should not be something that is done because it is expected but rather it should be intentional and at the center of what the youth ministry does. Teens and adults alike should be expecting to see people come to know Jesus because they have been praying for opportunities to lead people to Christ.
​The authors claim that prayer is the key practice that makes evangelistic students different from other students. Evangelistic students pray more and pray specifically for witnessing opportunities. The more students pray for these opportunities the more God will use them to reach their peers.

​The authors gave three prayer priorities that need to be evident in a youth ministry to help teens reach their friends with the Gospel. One is that adult leaders must put prayer at the top of their priority list. This goes back to being a model. Adults need to model prayer for their students. The second priority is that students must pray with ever-increasing frequency. Prayer should become a natural occurrence, not just a once-a-month thing in a student’s life. The third priority is that students must have opportunities more than once a month to pray with others. It is important to pray in a group for it brings the group’s focus back on God.

​In the youth groups I have observed, prayer should have been more of a priority. It should have had a greater group emphasis where the teens got together and prayed for one another and for their friends. Taking more time to pray and less time to play games would have strengthened the youth group as a whole and the student as an individual.  Breaking up into small groups and just spending time in prayer would have been a great way to minister to one another and beseech God on behalf of unbelieving friends.

​Chapter six was about inviting others to the youth ministry and creating an inviting environment. The authors discussed how important community is to the invitation aspect of youth ministry. If teens do not feel welcomed and comfortable to some degree, invitations will be turned down and they may never be seen again.

​The authors gave four group dynamics that they viewed as important factors to the success of evangelistic youth ministries when it came to inviting teens. First, the youth ministry needs to be socially safe. Teens should feel as if they can attend the youth ministry and know that they do not have to sacrifice their social comfort. Second, youth ministry needs to be emotionally safe. There needs to be such an environment where teens feel free to express their genuine emotions. Though teenage emotions can change within a second, the emotional part of adolescence should not be ignored. Third, youth ministry needs to exhibit a high level of consistency. The youth ministry needs to be dependable and consistent. Teens will not invite their friends if they do not know what is going on week to week. It can create social awkwardness and embarrassment that will not keep a teen for very long. Fourth, youth ministry should center on Christ. Youth ministry should not center on playing games, having fun, eating pizza, or being a social hangout. It should be centered on Christ. Christ should be the core of what the youth ministry is and does. Whether the leaders want to realize it or not, it is being centered on Christ that will bring people in on a deeper level.

​When I was in youth group, me and the other teens were always told to invite our friends. Over and over we were told, “invite your friends to youth group, invite your friends to this activity, come to this party but bring a friend!” I never had a friend to bring as all my friends already went to church and were involved in their own youth group. If I had had a friend to invite I do not know that I would have because I was not pleased with how our youth ministry was done. I had a lot of fun with the other teens and we were a pretty tight knit group but there was not a lot of spiritual growth happening. Our time together centered on talking about everything but the Word of God and playing games. The last ten minutes were used to squeeze in a hurried “Bible study” that neither challenged nor edified me.

​In the youth groups that I have been apart of and observed, I do not believe that it was hard for the teens to invite their friends. There was nothing that could be done to make it easier. What needed to be done was to give the teens a reason to invite their friends. There was no need to invite friends because the group was close and had fun together without the help of other people. Inviting friends was not about evangelism but about numbers and because of that the teens had nothing driving them.

​Chapter seven discusses the need for the youth ministry to prepare their student leaders to explain the Gospel well. This is done through adults being the model, frequent evangelism training, encouragement from the adult leaders, keeping the Bible a central part of life, and going away on retreats, camps, conferences, or serving on a short-term mission trip. These things will help mold student leaders into evangelists.

​Personally, my strategy for sharing the Gospel is to let it happen naturally in conversation. It seems more genuine then and less like a sales pitch. The more the Gospel is shared the more confident I become because not only do I learn how to be more effective in my sharing but the excitement over those conversations grow. Most people will talk about their beliefs and ask honest questions while seeking honest answers. If people can see that this is natural then it is a testament to my faith and to the way I live my life. They will see that my life revolves around the Lord and His truth and that sharing the Gospel is not forced, nor is it a rule to follow.

​My experiences as a camp counselor and the many mission trips that I have been on have given me opportunities to share the Gospel and create friendships (temporary though they may be) so that I can pour into the kids and impact them with a new way of living and thinking. My evangelistic experiences have been more than just sharing the key parts of the Gospel but rather the Gospel in its entirety with my life as a living testament.

A Letter from the Past

I came across this email I sent to Kyle during our courtship. It makes me smile. :) I still feel the same way about my man!

Every time I think about how my life was before I met you, I am reminded of how great of a difference you have made. Before you came along, my life was messy and chaotic, as you know. But now, my life makes so much more sense and it is a heck of a lot easier. I met you on the day that my life seemed to be falling apart and I was experiencing a pain that I had sworn I would never feel again. I never thought that meeting you would somehow make everything better. You really were just what I needed at the time and I totally believe that God knew what He was doing when He had us cross paths when we did. Your listening ear, words of wisdom and kindness, and your genuine concern was unlike anything I had ever truly experienced from a man before. I felt comfortable opening up myself to you little by little. It was a struggle at times but I also felt an odd peace. After all I had gone through, something told me that I could trust you....or else prove to be a fool once again...but it was worth that risk. I love how you express your masculinity in such a gentle way. You are a true gentleman and I find that attractive. :)

A Funny Hubby Happening

I'm going to be in class all week with lots of reading and writing to do within the next few weeks so I gave Kyle his first ever "honey do list." I explained to him the things I need his help with around the house as I will be very busy with class. He looked at me as if I was speaking a different language and then proceeded to tell me that I could start on the laundry tonight. Thanks for your help, honey! ;)

He did clean the bathroom for me today though which I appreciate. :) And he bought me a present; a new pair of TOMS. I think I'll keep him for a little while longer. ;)  

Red Crochet TOMS Shoes
(Check them out and buy yourself a pair!)

Jesus Didn't Come Back...But He Will

Saturday has come and gone and "the rapture" didn't happen. Jesus didn't come back and the world isn't at an end. I'm not surprised.

Harold Camping made a "prediction" by making "calculations" of different numbers in Scripture and stating that the rapture would take place on May 21st at 6pm. I don't need to know exactly what kind of "calculations" Camping did to know that he is absolutely heretical and doesn't understand how the Bible is to be read. Camping has done this once before, back in 1994. He was wrong then too. I have no idea what made him think he should try again and I have no idea why so many people were deceived by him again. Anyone claiming to know when Jesus is coming back is a false prophet. The Bible clearly states that only God the Father knows the day and the hour of Jesus' return. Matthew 24:36 says, "But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone." It's that simple.

Jesus will return one day, we can know that without a doubt, but no one knows when. We are to be ready, however, when it does happen. So live each day for the glory of God and live out His will, being ready for His return. It could happen at any moment.


UPDATE:

Check out these links for some good articles on this issue.
ReformedBaptistFellowship

HuffingtonPost

Happiness

"Though dozens of moods are available to women, we would all prefer to be in a good one. And though numerous emotions flit through our hearts every day, one feeling is esteemed more than all the others - happiness. We don't really mind what God has planned for us, so long as we are guaranteed happiness in the midst of it. We want to live happily ever after. And what keeps us happy? When things go our way. When everything runs smoothly in the direction we had hoped it would go, we are able to maintain a pleasant frame of mind. No bumps. No interruptions. No inconveniences. In order to maintain our personal contentment, we begin to avoid situations that might compromise our happiness. 

I want no regrets, so I will take no chances. I do not want to feel shame, so I will blend quietly into the crowd. I don't want to be disappointed, so I'll lower my expectations. I do not feel happy when I am confused, so I won't bother learning anything new. I do not wish to be embarrassed, so I will avoid speaking up. I don't want to experience sadness, so I will not allow myself to care. We set up emotional comfort zones and stay within them. No one can make us budge, not even the LORD. We create our own happy, little bubble - safe haven, untouched by others. We take firm control so we can always be happy. Happiness - no matter what the cost." - Managing Your Moods, Women of Faith Study Guide Series. 

It's easy to think that we are entitled to happiness. It's easy to think, "God loves me so surely He wants me to be happy." It's easy to think that obtaining happiness should be our main goal in life. It's so easy to seek out what makes us happy. However, happiness is only a blessing that God gives from time to time. Though happiness certainly has its place in life it is not a constant state, for sorrow, hurt, and anger seep in and rob us of what happiness was there. Obtaining happiness is not the goal in life but rather glorifying God in all circumstances. We are not guaranteed happiness but we are guaranteed that God is sovereign and that He brings hope and purpose into every situation. We need to let go of control and trust God. Our happiness shouldn't be a driving force but rather we should think of others and ultimately of God. Often times it is the most unhappiest situations that bring about the most glory and the most joy. It is like when my husband and I have an argument. I'm certainly not happy during the hours or perhaps even days that my husband and I are at odds but once we work through it and then make up, the bond between us is even greater and stronger and our affection towards one another even sweeter. Those times of unhappiness can be good and even healthy. Happiness isn't everything.

I'm still learning to view happiness through this lens. It's not easy, especially as a woman, because the emotions that work their way through my heart are numerous. I don't always know how to handle how I feel. My emotions are often what drives me and sometimes I don't even realize it. What should drive me, however, is the Word of God and His Truth. My heart is deceitful and wicked (Jeremiah 17:9). I can't trust my heart, I can't always trust my emotions because they come and go, but I can trust God and seek for Truth.

Emotions can be valid, don't get me wrong. God has given us the ability to feel and for some of us we feel everything very deeply. It is what we do with these emotions, how we respond, that dictate how much control these emotions have over us. I believe that I am slowly letting go of the control my emotions have over me and more and more placing control in the hands of God. I find myself praying more and reading the Scriptures more. It really does make a difference. To remain in the Word keeps my focus where it needs to be and to pray reminds me Who I need to trust above everyone else.

There are times that we will be happy; may we remember to praise God. There are times when we will be sad; may we remember to praise God.