Teenage Dating

The topic of teenage dating has been on my mind lately. I have four younger siblings and try as I might I cannot keep up with who they are dating. It saddens me to watch from a distance their ever changing relationship status. I know how they feel and I know what they desire. I felt and desired it too. However, the constant change of boyfriends and girlfriends causes unnecessary drama, broken hearts, and greater temptation to give pieces of yourself away. I remember when I was in jr. high and a lady told me that with each boyfriend there is a desire to give more and more of yourself away and that eventually you will have given all of yourself away to someone who is not your spouse. This is so true and I wish I had listened.

I didn't make perfect dating choices when I was a teenager but I didn't change boyfriends every few weeks either. My entire desire was to find the one I would be with forever but unfortunately I gave my emotions too much attention and didn't guard my heart. My mom and other women I looked up to always told me, "guard your heart," but I never knew what that meant and never thought to ask. I assumed I was guarding my heart because I didn't fall for every guy that looked my way. I was picky about who I began a relationship with and always prayed about it first. I don't know that I always listened to God though and I should have sought the advice of my parents more often. I made a lot of decisions on my own and that was unwise. It was only a few years ago that I finally learned that my own heart and mind cannot always be trusted. I wish I had learned this much earlier in life.

I believe I have said this before but I'll say it again for the sake of the topic; I wish I had not dated during my teenage years. For the most part it was a waste of time and emotions and what I did learn through it probably could have been learned a different way. My argument to myself always was, "he could be the guy I end up marrying!" or "some young couples do end up getting married after high school!" I always believed that dating was meant to lead to marriage and that it wasn't about having as many boyfriends as possible. I had the right goal but was too young and too emotionally (and hormonally) driven to make wise decisions until marriage was even possible.

It is hard because as much as I want to see my siblings and their friends making good decisions and waiting to date, I know that they won't listen. I didn't. I had to learn the hard way and more than likely, they will too. It is even harder to think about when I am a parent of a teenager what I will teach my kids about dating and relationships. Right now I am leaning towards restricting dating during high school and encouraging courtship afterwards but I guess Kyle and I will cross that bridge when we come to it. It is a scary thought though and it is disheartening to see so many teenagers make poor decisions and watch them give their hearts away with every kiss, with every immature "I love you," and with every new relationship. They don't realize how quickly these years go by and how much of their time, energy, and emotion is put into relationships that will most likely never last. Things don't have to be this way but most of the time the reality is this: you learn things too late. I guess it's called growing up.




Books of interest on this topic:

Before You Meet Prince Charming
Eyes Wide Open: Avoiding the Heartbreak of Emotional Promiscuity