**Disclaimer: These turn offs and tomorrows turn ons will be in the light of friendship, of what I do and do not like in people, and are not meant as sexual turn ons and turn offs. My husband is the only person who needs that knowledge about me. ;)**
1) Foul language - I don't tolerate unnecessary foul language. It is simply unbecoming and offensive.
2) Disrespect - I don't tolerate disrespect from anyone. It just isn't nice.
3) Habitual smoking - It's just nasty.
4) Being unnecessarily loud - No offense to anyone but loud people annoy me.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
From the Depths of my Heart...
I wish to sleep but I can't. My body hates me because all I've eaten since Tuesday night is a sandwich and some chocolate. My head hurts, my eyes are worn out from crying, and I'm sitting here in the dark, wishing to not be disturbed. What's wrong, you ask? The first huge quarrel between husband and wife is taking place. . .has been since Tuesday night. The contents and details of our argument are not for public knowledge but since this is a blog about my life as a wife I wish to at least mention it. I'm sure every married couple out there can identify. I'm sure they can think back and remember a similar experience. Marriage isn't all peace and harmony. If anything marriage is tearing at each others throats till you figure out how to live with each other. It's the whole "iron sharpens iron" concept and the rubbing of two pieces of sandpaper. You either wear each other out or make each other better. No matter how prepared Kyle and I were for this we still have a lot to learn. It gives me a headache and makes me feel discouraged just thinking about it. Of course, Kyle and I will get through this argument and through all of the other arguments we are sure to have. However, at the moment, it just stinks.
After five months of marriage and living with Kyle, I have learned a lot about him that I didn't know before we got married. I'm sure he could say the same about me. There are just certain things that you'll never learn about a person until you live with them everyday and have to unite yourself to that person to become one entity. I thought it hurt when I argued with a boyfriend but now that it's my husband I'm arguing with, it hurts a hell of a lot more. Why? Because I can't just leave. I can walk away for a time but I can't just go home or just end the relationship. There is no ending this relationship. I'm happy about that, I don't hate my marriage, I don't want to end it, but since I'm hurting for the first time in my marriage, I realize what a huge difference there is between a dating relationship and a marriage relationship. When you get married, you don't just bring sexual intimacy into the relationship, you bring in a whoooole lot more and so does your spouse. At some point the honeymoon (whether you had a real one or not) ends and you've gotta figure out what the hell you're doing. Living in a blissful state is not reality and making each other happy all the time is impossible. Who would have thought that, when you love each other so much, making a life together would be so dang hard.
A key component to a happy marriage is communication. Now, communication has always been a hard one for me. I am a complete failure when it comes to communicating well. I think and I write and that's as far as I can go. Speaking with an individual is incredibly hard for me. I always feel stupid afterward because what I really wished to communicate didn't happen. For instance, everything that I have written I could NOT have spoken to you. If I tried to verbally communicate all of this to you I would have failed miserably. This is why I write. When I write, I can communicate what I want to say and I can do it well. This is horrible when it comes to my marriage though. I want so desperately to be able to verbally communicate with my husband but I have proven to be a failure at this so many times. Once or twice I have written a journal entry and then handed my journal to Kyle so he could read what I had been thinking and feeling since I could not simply tell him. If only I could do this all the time but since I can't. . .I don't know what to do. I need to learn to just say what I want to say instead of keeping my mouth shut and bottling it up until I explode. Oh, but the fear that grips me when I want to speak. . .it's like there is an invisible hand clamped over my mouth, forcing me to keep quiet. I don't have this problem if I'm teaching a lesson or giving a speech because then I am expected to speak and others are expected to listen. It's only with individual people or any informal group of people that I don't know well. I can't even communicate effectively with my husband when it really matters. So, as I would do with anyone, I withdraw and when pushed or when I just can't take it anymore, I explode. As with any explosive, the contents of my heart and mind go everywhere, damaging myself and those around me. I don't know how to change this other than forcing myself to speak but I know that after this has calmed and settled, I will return to my old ways and the cycle will just begin again. God help me.
After five months of marriage and living with Kyle, I have learned a lot about him that I didn't know before we got married. I'm sure he could say the same about me. There are just certain things that you'll never learn about a person until you live with them everyday and have to unite yourself to that person to become one entity. I thought it hurt when I argued with a boyfriend but now that it's my husband I'm arguing with, it hurts a hell of a lot more. Why? Because I can't just leave. I can walk away for a time but I can't just go home or just end the relationship. There is no ending this relationship. I'm happy about that, I don't hate my marriage, I don't want to end it, but since I'm hurting for the first time in my marriage, I realize what a huge difference there is between a dating relationship and a marriage relationship. When you get married, you don't just bring sexual intimacy into the relationship, you bring in a whoooole lot more and so does your spouse. At some point the honeymoon (whether you had a real one or not) ends and you've gotta figure out what the hell you're doing. Living in a blissful state is not reality and making each other happy all the time is impossible. Who would have thought that, when you love each other so much, making a life together would be so dang hard.
A key component to a happy marriage is communication. Now, communication has always been a hard one for me. I am a complete failure when it comes to communicating well. I think and I write and that's as far as I can go. Speaking with an individual is incredibly hard for me. I always feel stupid afterward because what I really wished to communicate didn't happen. For instance, everything that I have written I could NOT have spoken to you. If I tried to verbally communicate all of this to you I would have failed miserably. This is why I write. When I write, I can communicate what I want to say and I can do it well. This is horrible when it comes to my marriage though. I want so desperately to be able to verbally communicate with my husband but I have proven to be a failure at this so many times. Once or twice I have written a journal entry and then handed my journal to Kyle so he could read what I had been thinking and feeling since I could not simply tell him. If only I could do this all the time but since I can't. . .I don't know what to do. I need to learn to just say what I want to say instead of keeping my mouth shut and bottling it up until I explode. Oh, but the fear that grips me when I want to speak. . .it's like there is an invisible hand clamped over my mouth, forcing me to keep quiet. I don't have this problem if I'm teaching a lesson or giving a speech because then I am expected to speak and others are expected to listen. It's only with individual people or any informal group of people that I don't know well. I can't even communicate effectively with my husband when it really matters. So, as I would do with anyone, I withdraw and when pushed or when I just can't take it anymore, I explode. As with any explosive, the contents of my heart and mind go everywhere, damaging myself and those around me. I don't know how to change this other than forcing myself to speak but I know that after this has calmed and settled, I will return to my old ways and the cycle will just begin again. God help me.
Day 6: Five People that Mean a Lot to Me
1) My husband, Kyle
2) My best friend, Grace
3) My mom
4) My mom-in-law
5) Jesus ;)
2) My best friend, Grace
3) My mom
4) My mom-in-law
5) Jesus ;)
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Day 5: Six Things I Wish I Had Never Done
1) I wish I had never dated a good friend of mine because now we are not friends at all
2) I wish I had not thrown a fit yesterday when things weren't going the way I wanted them to
3) I wish I had not done so poorly in Greek....but let's face it...it's GREEK!
4) I wish I had never said some of the things that I have said to people
5) I wish I had never lost my cool with my English teacher when I was a freshman in college
6) I wish I had never gained 20 pounds
2) I wish I had not thrown a fit yesterday when things weren't going the way I wanted them to
3) I wish I had not done so poorly in Greek....but let's face it...it's GREEK!
4) I wish I had never said some of the things that I have said to people
5) I wish I had never lost my cool with my English teacher when I was a freshman in college
6) I wish I had never gained 20 pounds
Monday, January 10, 2011
Day 4: Seven Things that Cross Your Mind Alot
1) The future - Where are we gonna be and how will we get there?
2) Finances - Hate money but always need it
3) School - It's a pain to try to get everything worked out between semesters so I can actually go
4) My plans for the week
5) Time - What time is it and how many hours until such and such?
6) My need to lose some weight
7) Lots and lots of random stuff including daydreams and worries.
2) Finances - Hate money but always need it
3) School - It's a pain to try to get everything worked out between semesters so I can actually go
4) My plans for the week
5) Time - What time is it and how many hours until such and such?
6) My need to lose some weight
7) Lots and lots of random stuff including daydreams and worries.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Day 3: Eight Ways to Win my Heart
1) Respect me
2) Be interested in my opinions and what I think about things
3) Give me chocolate or cake or ice cream or cookies or brownies or pie. . .anything sweet!
4) Make me laugh
5) Be trustworthy
6) Show genuine kindness and care for others
7) Give me flowers
8) Hug me
2) Be interested in my opinions and what I think about things
3) Give me chocolate or cake or ice cream or cookies or brownies or pie. . .anything sweet!
4) Make me laugh
5) Be trustworthy
6) Show genuine kindness and care for others
7) Give me flowers
8) Hug me
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Day 2: Nine Things about Me
1) I did not gain the Freshman 15. However, I did manage to gain the Newly-Wed 20.
2) I met, got engaged to, and married my Beloved all within the time frame of 8 months.
3) I would like my first born to be born in the month of October. That way Daddy's birthday is in September, Baby's birthday in October, and Mommy's in November. ;)
4) I only befriend odd people. I don't do it on purpose, it just works out that way.
5) I like to go against whatever is most popular at the time. I just hate following a crowd.
6) I am very proud of now bearing the name Kerby. Thompson is just all too common.
7) I love the rain...and the moon...and snow...and sunsets...and...
8) I am a very practical person but a romantic at heart.
9) I don't always think very highly of myself but when my husband tells me that I'm an incredible wife and that he loves me, I know I must be doing something right. :)
2) I met, got engaged to, and married my Beloved all within the time frame of 8 months.
3) I would like my first born to be born in the month of October. That way Daddy's birthday is in September, Baby's birthday in October, and Mommy's in November. ;)
4) I only befriend odd people. I don't do it on purpose, it just works out that way.
5) I like to go against whatever is most popular at the time. I just hate following a crowd.
6) I am very proud of now bearing the name Kerby. Thompson is just all too common.
7) I love the rain...and the moon...and snow...and sunsets...and...
8) I am a very practical person but a romantic at heart.
9) I don't always think very highly of myself but when my husband tells me that I'm an incredible wife and that he loves me, I know I must be doing something right. :)
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Day 1: Things to Say to Ten People I Love
1) Kyle - I love you so much. You are such a good husband and my best friend. It's so weird to think about how just a year ago we weren't even dating yet finding interest in each other more and more. It happened so randomly and quickly but I don't regret it at all. Being with you brought so much peace to my heart and though I didn't want to fall in love with you, I just couldn't help myself. :) Thank you for being yourself and being everything I need. You are my beloved and you are mine. I love you.
2) Grace - I'm so glad you reached out to me in the Criswell coffee shop four years ago. The times we had as single girls was so much fun!!! I'm so thankful that we became such close friends and even though we lose touch every now and then you're still my best girlfriend and I hope that our kids can grow up together!! haha ;)
3) Kimberly - I miss you!! All the times you, me and Grace had while at Criswell was so much fun! The sleepovers, the outings, all the giggling, talking and crying. . .the three of us were kindred spirits. Even though we don't see each other very often I love how we can connect immediately after so much time apart. We need to hang out soon! The three of us! And make it like old times. ;) I miss and love you!
4) Chase - Even though I'm married now, you're still a good friend and I think back on our best friendship with a smile and a laugh. You were there for me all the time and kept me laughing even when I didn't feel like it. When I hated the male race you were there to remind me that there were still some nice guys left out there. I am thankful for your friendship and even though we may lose touch, I will always care for you as my friend and brother.
5) Mom - You're my hero! I want to be just like you. You are a godly woman and a dedicated wife and mother. Even when you had seven kids in the house you always managed to keep the house clean, organized and uncluttered. I remember you getting up early to read your Bible, pray and sing. Your singing really annoyed me at the time but I think that along with prayer and the time you spent in the Word is what got you through the day. Watching you play your different roles, rejoice and laugh when times were good, and cry and yell when times were bad, taught me what makes a strong, good woman. You don't get the praise, admiration and appreciation that you deserve but know that I look up to you, admire you and love you very much!
6) Julia - I hope that you're no longer mad at me and that you understand why our friendship slowly dissolved. I still think of you as a friend and sister and still care about you very much. I really enjoyed being such good friends with you and I LOVED hanging out with you. I really love you and your family. I was friends with you because I liked you and we got along but I also wanted to be a good influence on you and just be an older person that you could trust and depend on. I know I made some mistakes and didn't always handle things well but I never meant to hurt or disappoint you. As you grow older I do believe you'll come to understand. I know I did. I love you and think about you often!
7) Joanna W - You are such a sweet and understanding girl. Even though we have drifted apart as well I still love you and think about you! I miss you and wish we could hang out soon! Darn you for living so far away! ;)
8) Joanna M - I facebook stalk you, just so you know. ;) I look back on our years as best friends with fondness. :) That was so long ago but the memories are still fresh in my mind. Thanks for being my friend when we were younger and I enjoy catching up with you every now and then. You are a sweet girl and I still love you!
9) Laura M - I always enjoyed our conversations. Gosh, hanging out with Jo at y'alls house when we were all younger was so much fun! You were always so wise and mature beyond your years. I looked up to you as a kid. :) Thanks for coming to my wedding! It was so nice to have you there. I wish we could catch up more! Love ya!
10) Jordon - I miss you!! You're my favorite Irish girl! haha I'll never forget the time we spent together in Ireland. It was so much fun to hang out with you. You are such a sweet girl. I hope I get to see you again one day!
2) Grace - I'm so glad you reached out to me in the Criswell coffee shop four years ago. The times we had as single girls was so much fun!!! I'm so thankful that we became such close friends and even though we lose touch every now and then you're still my best girlfriend and I hope that our kids can grow up together!! haha ;)
3) Kimberly - I miss you!! All the times you, me and Grace had while at Criswell was so much fun! The sleepovers, the outings, all the giggling, talking and crying. . .the three of us were kindred spirits. Even though we don't see each other very often I love how we can connect immediately after so much time apart. We need to hang out soon! The three of us! And make it like old times. ;) I miss and love you!
4) Chase - Even though I'm married now, you're still a good friend and I think back on our best friendship with a smile and a laugh. You were there for me all the time and kept me laughing even when I didn't feel like it. When I hated the male race you were there to remind me that there were still some nice guys left out there. I am thankful for your friendship and even though we may lose touch, I will always care for you as my friend and brother.
5) Mom - You're my hero! I want to be just like you. You are a godly woman and a dedicated wife and mother. Even when you had seven kids in the house you always managed to keep the house clean, organized and uncluttered. I remember you getting up early to read your Bible, pray and sing. Your singing really annoyed me at the time but I think that along with prayer and the time you spent in the Word is what got you through the day. Watching you play your different roles, rejoice and laugh when times were good, and cry and yell when times were bad, taught me what makes a strong, good woman. You don't get the praise, admiration and appreciation that you deserve but know that I look up to you, admire you and love you very much!
6) Julia - I hope that you're no longer mad at me and that you understand why our friendship slowly dissolved. I still think of you as a friend and sister and still care about you very much. I really enjoyed being such good friends with you and I LOVED hanging out with you. I really love you and your family. I was friends with you because I liked you and we got along but I also wanted to be a good influence on you and just be an older person that you could trust and depend on. I know I made some mistakes and didn't always handle things well but I never meant to hurt or disappoint you. As you grow older I do believe you'll come to understand. I know I did. I love you and think about you often!
7) Joanna W - You are such a sweet and understanding girl. Even though we have drifted apart as well I still love you and think about you! I miss you and wish we could hang out soon! Darn you for living so far away! ;)
8) Joanna M - I facebook stalk you, just so you know. ;) I look back on our years as best friends with fondness. :) That was so long ago but the memories are still fresh in my mind. Thanks for being my friend when we were younger and I enjoy catching up with you every now and then. You are a sweet girl and I still love you!
9) Laura M - I always enjoyed our conversations. Gosh, hanging out with Jo at y'alls house when we were all younger was so much fun! You were always so wise and mature beyond your years. I looked up to you as a kid. :) Thanks for coming to my wedding! It was so nice to have you there. I wish we could catch up more! Love ya!
10) Jordon - I miss you!! You're my favorite Irish girl! haha I'll never forget the time we spent together in Ireland. It was so much fun to hang out with you. You are such a sweet girl. I hope I get to see you again one day!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Siiiick :(
The cold bug has invaded our home. I started feeling yucky Saturday night and I'm still feeling a bit yucky today. I'm hoping to be 100% by tomorrow or Thursday because I'm anxious to try out my cupcake maker. . .and I'm tired of laying in bed all day. Kyle also started feeling bad last night and didn't go to work today. Though it's nice to lay in bed all day with my hubby and not have to do anything, I hope that we are both feeling better soon. I felt some energy come back today but as the day wore on I started to feel progressively worse again. My body is aching, my head hurts, and my eyes feel tired. This stinks.
So, I'm going to steal something I found on a friend's Tumblr. It's called the 10 Day Tumblr Challenge but I think it can be used for any blog. Here is what it looks like:
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you were you had never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot to you
Day Seven: Four turn offs
Day Eight: Three turn ons
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now
Day Ten: One confession
It looks like fun and I like answering questions. I'll begin tomorrow because right now I need to lay back down and get some rest. Good night, stay well!
So, I'm going to steal something I found on a friend's Tumblr. It's called the 10 Day Tumblr Challenge but I think it can be used for any blog. Here is what it looks like:
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you were you had never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot to you
Day Seven: Four turn offs
Day Eight: Three turn ons
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now
Day Ten: One confession
It looks like fun and I like answering questions. I'll begin tomorrow because right now I need to lay back down and get some rest. Good night, stay well!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Here Comes a New Year
My Christmas was a wonderful time spent with family. I got to meet and hold my baby niece Cilicia and cherished the time I spent with her. She is so cute and cuddly! :)
Christmas Eve Eve was my little sister's birthday so me, Kyle, and our friend Chase helped chaperon her birthday party. We had like 15 teenage girls we had to keep busy so we led games for them. That was both fun and chaotic. Teenage girls like to scream and have a hard time focusing...I had forgotten. ;)
Christmas Eve was spent baking our favorite cookie recipes: chocolate chip and butter cookies. My big brother, John-Paul, used to do all the baking when he was younger but then past it on to me when I was old enough. So I baked the chocolate chip and he baked the butter cookies. John-Paul kept remembering all of the food we used to eat growing up and the different old recipes in the family. It was fun to reminisce and fill our bellies with cookies.
Later that night we went to the Christmas Eve Candle Light Service at my parent's church then came home and ordered pizza. Yum! Later, my sister-in-law (who usually opens presents on Christmas Eve) convinced my brother to open a present from her. We were all glad she did because it was an Xbox Kinect! John-Paul hooked it up and we all played for hours. It was really fun and hilarious to watch each other play. Even my mom got in on it and we all laughed as she danced, kicked, and punched the air. As someone who usually doesn't like video games, I really enjoyed it because one, it got the whole family involved and two, YOU are the controller which means your whole body is moving and being active. I felt so sore for like two days after that night!
Around 10 or 11 the electricity started to blink on and off. It was really weird because it wouldn't just blink but click off for a minute and then come back on and then cut off again. Finally it cut off completely and we had to light candles. It had been raining that night and apparently lighting struck a power line. We were without electricity until around midnight but we kept ourselves occupied. We surrounded ourselves with candles and played Pictionary. That was fun and I do believe I was the winner in that game. :)
Christmas Day my sister had us all up early. We opened presents and then lounged around and played some more Kinect until we went over to my grandparents house for lunch. It was a good, tiring day and we all slept in Sunday morning. Kyle and I took our time moving around but eventually headed home by 2pm.
It was a great Christmas and probably the most fun my family has had all together in a long time. It was a blessing to have everyone there and, for the most part, getting along and having a good time together. I am thankful to God for a wonderful Christmas season and an awesome year. He has blessed me greatly.
Christmas Eve Eve was my little sister's birthday so me, Kyle, and our friend Chase helped chaperon her birthday party. We had like 15 teenage girls we had to keep busy so we led games for them. That was both fun and chaotic. Teenage girls like to scream and have a hard time focusing...I had forgotten. ;)
Christmas Eve was spent baking our favorite cookie recipes: chocolate chip and butter cookies. My big brother, John-Paul, used to do all the baking when he was younger but then past it on to me when I was old enough. So I baked the chocolate chip and he baked the butter cookies. John-Paul kept remembering all of the food we used to eat growing up and the different old recipes in the family. It was fun to reminisce and fill our bellies with cookies.
Later that night we went to the Christmas Eve Candle Light Service at my parent's church then came home and ordered pizza. Yum! Later, my sister-in-law (who usually opens presents on Christmas Eve) convinced my brother to open a present from her. We were all glad she did because it was an Xbox Kinect! John-Paul hooked it up and we all played for hours. It was really fun and hilarious to watch each other play. Even my mom got in on it and we all laughed as she danced, kicked, and punched the air. As someone who usually doesn't like video games, I really enjoyed it because one, it got the whole family involved and two, YOU are the controller which means your whole body is moving and being active. I felt so sore for like two days after that night!
Around 10 or 11 the electricity started to blink on and off. It was really weird because it wouldn't just blink but click off for a minute and then come back on and then cut off again. Finally it cut off completely and we had to light candles. It had been raining that night and apparently lighting struck a power line. We were without electricity until around midnight but we kept ourselves occupied. We surrounded ourselves with candles and played Pictionary. That was fun and I do believe I was the winner in that game. :)
Christmas Day my sister had us all up early. We opened presents and then lounged around and played some more Kinect until we went over to my grandparents house for lunch. It was a good, tiring day and we all slept in Sunday morning. Kyle and I took our time moving around but eventually headed home by 2pm.
It was a great Christmas and probably the most fun my family has had all together in a long time. It was a blessing to have everyone there and, for the most part, getting along and having a good time together. I am thankful to God for a wonderful Christmas season and an awesome year. He has blessed me greatly.
Monday, December 20, 2010
This Christmas
This Christmas is me and Kyle's first Christmas together. So far it has had its ups and downs but I think this week should be a good one. Kyle is working today and tomorrow and Wednesday we are spending the day preparing to travel on Thursday. There is laundry to do, clothes to pack, and a few more presents to wrap. On Thursday we'll head to Spring, TX to spend Christmas with my family. My big brother and his wife are coming from Austin as well so my parents will have all their kids home for Christmas! It will be the first time for all of us to be together for a holiday in two years! I think the last time was Thanksgiving 2008. Kyle and I will both have our cameras so we'll get lots of family pictures! I'm excited and looking forward to the few days we get to be there.
I love Christmas time but as I get older it seems that life experiences take away the magical feeling that Christmas time used to bring. I don't want to become a Scrooge or a Grinch, I want to always love and enjoy Christmas, but it becomes harder with each year. However, along with those hard life experiences comes the lesson of learning to trust God and have faith in Him. So, this Christmas, as with any Christmas, I recall to the forefront of my mind the birth of Jesus Christ and the Father's plan of redemption. I remember the hope that I have because of Christ's birth, death, and resurrection. I remember that Jesus is the reason of every day, of every step, and of every breath. Whether Christmas comes in that magical way or not, the purpose of this holiday remains the same; to celebrate God's perfect Gift of salvation, love, and grace.
"And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.'"-- Luke 2:8-12
I love Christmas time but as I get older it seems that life experiences take away the magical feeling that Christmas time used to bring. I don't want to become a Scrooge or a Grinch, I want to always love and enjoy Christmas, but it becomes harder with each year. However, along with those hard life experiences comes the lesson of learning to trust God and have faith in Him. So, this Christmas, as with any Christmas, I recall to the forefront of my mind the birth of Jesus Christ and the Father's plan of redemption. I remember the hope that I have because of Christ's birth, death, and resurrection. I remember that Jesus is the reason of every day, of every step, and of every breath. Whether Christmas comes in that magical way or not, the purpose of this holiday remains the same; to celebrate God's perfect Gift of salvation, love, and grace.
"And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.'"-- Luke 2:8-12
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
The Truth about Adolescence
I am convinced that this culture has caused our youth to feel hopeless and helpless and as a result they have retreated to the world beneath, the one place they feel safe from adult agendas and uncompassionate criticism, and have been abandoned by the adults that surround them. Instead of rushing to their aid to fight for them and to understand their world, adults have heaped expectations, criticism and unjust evaluations upon them. We have handed them a journey of pain and confusion and have stepped back to watch them try to make it all on their own. And when they fail, we deem them unworthy of adulthood. This is the world of our adolescents and it's our fault.
Check out these books to read more about this issue of adolescence and systematic abandonment.
Disconnected: Parenting Teens in a Myspace World
Hurt: Inside the World of Today's Teengage
Check out these books to read more about this issue of adolescence and systematic abandonment.
Disconnected: Parenting Teens in a Myspace World
Hurt: Inside the World of Today's Teengage
Monday, December 13, 2010
Birth Control: Right or Wrong?
After my last post about children I started getting questions about my view of birth control. My immediate response was more or less, "I don't know, I'm still thinking about it."
While preparing for marriage I read a book about sexual intimacy in marriage and it covered the different forms of birth control. With the exception of condoms, all of them left a small window of chance for an egg to be fertilized and then terminated or they sounded shady in a way that made me feel uneasy. I discussed it with Kyle and we both quickly agreed that we would not take that chance. So, as a person who values the sanctity of life and lives by biblical standards, I would argue that using most forms of birth control is wrong. Of course, that leaves myself and anyone else who has faced this with the question, what about condoms or any other "safe" form of birth control? And is using birth control failing to trust God with this area of our life? After a long discussion with my husband and some time in prayer, I came to the conclusion that it is not wrong to use condoms but neither is it wrong to not use condoms.
I believe that a couple can use condoms and still be trusting in God to determine the right time for them to have a child. If they continually seek God's will through prayer then I believe that God will let them know when it's time. And of course condoms or any means of birth control do not limit God. He holds all things together and works all things out according to His will.
On the other extreme, I don't believe that it is wrong or irresponsible of a couple to not use birth control as long as it is something that God has convicted them of. I do believe that God opens and closes the womb and that He is in complete control. If a couple has sought God's wisdom and feels strongly that they should forgo birth control then I believe that they are completely right to do so.
That is my view on birth control. I know that this is a hot topic and that there are many different opinions. It was hard to think through and come to a conclusion. It's a gray area for Christians and I think the best thing to do is to seek God's will and wisdom through prayer and trust in Him. He knows what is best for your marriage and family. I think that is something that all young married couples and parents can find peace in.
While preparing for marriage I read a book about sexual intimacy in marriage and it covered the different forms of birth control. With the exception of condoms, all of them left a small window of chance for an egg to be fertilized and then terminated or they sounded shady in a way that made me feel uneasy. I discussed it with Kyle and we both quickly agreed that we would not take that chance. So, as a person who values the sanctity of life and lives by biblical standards, I would argue that using most forms of birth control is wrong. Of course, that leaves myself and anyone else who has faced this with the question, what about condoms or any other "safe" form of birth control? And is using birth control failing to trust God with this area of our life? After a long discussion with my husband and some time in prayer, I came to the conclusion that it is not wrong to use condoms but neither is it wrong to not use condoms.
I believe that a couple can use condoms and still be trusting in God to determine the right time for them to have a child. If they continually seek God's will through prayer then I believe that God will let them know when it's time. And of course condoms or any means of birth control do not limit God. He holds all things together and works all things out according to His will.
On the other extreme, I don't believe that it is wrong or irresponsible of a couple to not use birth control as long as it is something that God has convicted them of. I do believe that God opens and closes the womb and that He is in complete control. If a couple has sought God's wisdom and feels strongly that they should forgo birth control then I believe that they are completely right to do so.
That is my view on birth control. I know that this is a hot topic and that there are many different opinions. It was hard to think through and come to a conclusion. It's a gray area for Christians and I think the best thing to do is to seek God's will and wisdom through prayer and trust in Him. He knows what is best for your marriage and family. I think that is something that all young married couples and parents can find peace in.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Is There Such a Thing as TOO Many Kids?
I come from a family of nine. I have a mom and a dad, two older siblings, and four younger siblings. People consider us a big family and I remember how people would react when they saw all of us together growing up. My parents usually got the question, "Are they all yours?" People were always interested in the dynamics of a large family yet no one ever really understood. It seems that, for a lot of people, the thought of having more than two or three kids is ridiculous. There are people who would say having a big family is irresponsible and even wrong. I don't agree with those statements at all. I believe children are a blessing and a gift from God. I believe couples should have as many children as God would grant them. God, in His sovereignty, knows how many children each couple should have. I acknowledge that sometimes God grants none, one, just a few, or even as many as 20.
I think most people are familiar with the Duggar family who, as of right now, are a family of 21. My feelings toward this family consist of admiration and respect. I think it is awesome that God has given Michelle and Jim Bob 19 kids to raise and has provided the means in which for them to do so. I admire their trust in God and their willingness to accept each child He gives them. Their lives revolve around the children God has given to them and they appear to fulfill their roles as parents by teaching, guiding, loving, and raising their children to be godly men and women. I believe that every parent should devote themselves to their children in this way. And in doing so, they are devoting themselves to God and His calling of them as parents; to take His children, train them up in the way they should go, and then give them back to Him.
Now, I don't want anyone to misunderstand me. I'm not saying that once you're a parent that you're never anything else. I do believe that parents have other roles in life as well. They aren't just parents but also a spouse, a friend, a co-worker, ect. Parents have hobbies and dreams as well and I believe that every parent needs a break every now and then and needs to have a "life" outside of their kids as long as it doesn't affect the kids in a negative way. My point is that to be a parent is a very high calling and to be given the opportunity to love and raise as many children as God would give is a gift no one should deny.
I don't think that there is such a thing as TOO many kids. I believe that God gives as many kids as He sees fit to each couple and that number, whatever it is, is just right.
All my life I have had a strong desire to be a mother. I have always said that I want four or five because in my mind that's not too few and not too many. However, when Kyle and I were preparing for marriage and discussed children we both agreed that we would trust God with how many kids we will have. We both have our own ideas about what number would be a good "fit" in our eyes but that is only in our eyes. Neither of us have ever been a parent before so we both admit that after baby number 1 our minds could change entirely. So, instead of relying on ourselves to make a "responsible" decision, we are trusting God to steer our hearts and minds towards His will for our family. We will receive with joy every child He gives us and will seek His will about when we have "enough."
So too many kids? No way.
Many blessings bestowed on those undeserving? Yes.
I think most people are familiar with the Duggar family who, as of right now, are a family of 21. My feelings toward this family consist of admiration and respect. I think it is awesome that God has given Michelle and Jim Bob 19 kids to raise and has provided the means in which for them to do so. I admire their trust in God and their willingness to accept each child He gives them. Their lives revolve around the children God has given to them and they appear to fulfill their roles as parents by teaching, guiding, loving, and raising their children to be godly men and women. I believe that every parent should devote themselves to their children in this way. And in doing so, they are devoting themselves to God and His calling of them as parents; to take His children, train them up in the way they should go, and then give them back to Him.
Now, I don't want anyone to misunderstand me. I'm not saying that once you're a parent that you're never anything else. I do believe that parents have other roles in life as well. They aren't just parents but also a spouse, a friend, a co-worker, ect. Parents have hobbies and dreams as well and I believe that every parent needs a break every now and then and needs to have a "life" outside of their kids as long as it doesn't affect the kids in a negative way. My point is that to be a parent is a very high calling and to be given the opportunity to love and raise as many children as God would give is a gift no one should deny.
I don't think that there is such a thing as TOO many kids. I believe that God gives as many kids as He sees fit to each couple and that number, whatever it is, is just right.
All my life I have had a strong desire to be a mother. I have always said that I want four or five because in my mind that's not too few and not too many. However, when Kyle and I were preparing for marriage and discussed children we both agreed that we would trust God with how many kids we will have. We both have our own ideas about what number would be a good "fit" in our eyes but that is only in our eyes. Neither of us have ever been a parent before so we both admit that after baby number 1 our minds could change entirely. So, instead of relying on ourselves to make a "responsible" decision, we are trusting God to steer our hearts and minds towards His will for our family. We will receive with joy every child He gives us and will seek His will about when we have "enough."
So too many kids? No way.
Many blessings bestowed on those undeserving? Yes.
Fall 2010 Semester is Over
Semesters seem to begin and end in a whirlwind. As always, it's weird to go from nonstop reading and studying to absolutely nothing school related. I woke up today, petted my dog and told her, "Trudy, I don't know what to do today." lol No worries, I found things to do. There were dishes to clean and put away, clothes to wash, and some reading for pure enjoyment to be done.
I also tried watching a TV show called Psych since my beloved Monk has come to an end. I didn't like it so much. I didn't understand why he didn't just tell the police that he's gifted in noticing small but key details that most other people overlook instead of lying about being a psychic. I watched two episodes but I didn't really get into it. Monk is way better! While watching that show it felt like Monk and I had become best friends and when it ended, a little something died in me that day. I even cried! lol Monk is the best TVshow ever and I will have to revisit it soon!
Not only did my semester end this week but my newest niece, Cilicia Rose, was born on Tuesday morning! She's so cute with such pinchable cheeks! I can't wait to meet her and hold her when I go down to Houston for Christmas. It's a little weird not being there for her birth because I was there when her siblings were born. I was at the hospital when Isabella was born, at the house watching Isabella when Malea was born, and when I found out Levi was born, I was able to head down to Houston that day with a friend to see him. This time I have to wait a few weeks and it's killing me! I can't wait to see her!
I also tried watching a TV show called Psych since my beloved Monk has come to an end. I didn't like it so much. I didn't understand why he didn't just tell the police that he's gifted in noticing small but key details that most other people overlook instead of lying about being a psychic. I watched two episodes but I didn't really get into it. Monk is way better! While watching that show it felt like Monk and I had become best friends and when it ended, a little something died in me that day. I even cried! lol Monk is the best TVshow ever and I will have to revisit it soon!
Not only did my semester end this week but my newest niece, Cilicia Rose, was born on Tuesday morning! She's so cute with such pinchable cheeks! I can't wait to meet her and hold her when I go down to Houston for Christmas. It's a little weird not being there for her birth because I was there when her siblings were born. I was at the hospital when Isabella was born, at the house watching Isabella when Malea was born, and when I found out Levi was born, I was able to head down to Houston that day with a friend to see him. This time I have to wait a few weeks and it's killing me! I can't wait to see her!
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| Cilicia Rose DeAses December 7, 2010 |
Monday, November 22, 2010
Happy Birthday to Me
My birthday was great. Kyle and I laid in bed most of the day watching Monk and eating lunch. Kyle gave me a box of chocolates and a Christmas tree in a box! Later we got ready and Kyle drove us to Firewheel where he took me to James Avery and had me pick out a pearl ring! I found one I liked, he bought it, and then we headed to Allen to watch the Americans game. We got there pretty early so we ate at Which Wich and then went to Kirklands just to look around. We ended up buying an antique looking book and a nutcracker that Kyle found hilarious. Then we went to the event center and watched the Americans play an awesome game. I've never seen them so aggressive! They won 4 to 1 making my birthday a total success. lol I had a good time and give full credit to my husband. :)
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
21 Years of Life
Friday is my birthday. I will be 21.
I know that is not old. I know that 21 is quite young. Life goes by so fast though. I remember when I was little thinking about how the ages of 16, 18 and 21 were so old and so far off. When I was a kid life seemed so slow and so familiar. It was easy then. Safe. Secure. It felt like I had all the time in the world. Now, however, I have seen how fast time flies. I'm a senior in college and a wife. All my life I wanted it to happen so quickly but it felt like it was happening so slowly. And now, when I want it all to slow down, it just seems to fly be even faster. It's funny how life is like that.
For my birthday, Kyle is taking me to the Allen Americans game Friday night. I'm so excited! They better win because if they don't it will spoil my birthday. ;) Kyle also has the day off Friday so I'll get to spend the whole day with my honey! I'm looking forward to it. :)
I am thankful for life and the 21 years God has granted me thus far. He has been faithful, just and forgiving. I look forward to the years ahead and the blessings and hardships He has in store for me.
Happy birthday to me! :)
P.S:
I still love being married. It's the greatest and most challenging experience of my life. Kyle is such a good man. His smile and silliness lights up my life and keeps me going. He is a good second half, and he keeps me balanced. I love him very much. . .more than words can say.
I know that is not old. I know that 21 is quite young. Life goes by so fast though. I remember when I was little thinking about how the ages of 16, 18 and 21 were so old and so far off. When I was a kid life seemed so slow and so familiar. It was easy then. Safe. Secure. It felt like I had all the time in the world. Now, however, I have seen how fast time flies. I'm a senior in college and a wife. All my life I wanted it to happen so quickly but it felt like it was happening so slowly. And now, when I want it all to slow down, it just seems to fly be even faster. It's funny how life is like that.
For my birthday, Kyle is taking me to the Allen Americans game Friday night. I'm so excited! They better win because if they don't it will spoil my birthday. ;) Kyle also has the day off Friday so I'll get to spend the whole day with my honey! I'm looking forward to it. :)
I am thankful for life and the 21 years God has granted me thus far. He has been faithful, just and forgiving. I look forward to the years ahead and the blessings and hardships He has in store for me.
Happy birthday to me! :)
P.S:
I still love being married. It's the greatest and most challenging experience of my life. Kyle is such a good man. His smile and silliness lights up my life and keeps me going. He is a good second half, and he keeps me balanced. I love him very much. . .more than words can say.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Children are a Blessing
Children are a blessing not because they are given to you to obey your every rule, to live up to your expectations, to live in such a way as to not make you look bad, to love you, to listen to you, or to make every moment a joy. No, children are a blessing because they are given to you, a poor, pathetic mess of a person, as a gift to teach you, grow you, and edify you as you pour everything you have into them. They are a blessing because God uses them to sanctify you as you stand by them no matter what they do or who they become.
Parents, would you agree? Give your thoughts.
Parents, would you agree? Give your thoughts.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Patience and Contentment
Plans don't always pan out, they don't always remain the same.
I had planned to go to China in March but that fell through. I don't have the time or focus to raise money right now. There are too many other things going on right now . . . not to mention still being a newlywed! I'll have to fulfill my mission practicum trip later and I am okay with that.
What was much harder to accept was the fact that I won't be graduating until December 2011. I was planning on graduating in May 2011 but I found out that I had more classes to take than I thought. In order to graduate in May I would have to take 17 hours next semester. Kyle and I both agreed that 17 hours would be too much work and very hard to schedule around his job. So, I will be adding an Education minor to my degree so that I will have 24 hours left to take which means 12 hours next semester and 12 hours the following semester. Though it is disappointing to have to drag this out longer I know it will work out better. I get to add another minor of interest and will still receive financial aid. What really stinks however is that even though I will finish my degree requirements in December 2011, I won't actually graduate until May 2012. Criswell does not have a December graduation and I will not be given my diploma unless I have a special need. So I will have to wait 5 months to actually receive my diploma and be considered a graduate. I think that's stupid but there's nothing I can do about it. I think I've come to accept it but it's still annoying.
I love my in-laws and I appreciate them letting Kyle and I live with them but I am anxious for us to have our own place. I want a clean and organized house where I can put things where I want them and decorate how I like. The plan is to save up money and move out next year but I'm worried it might take longer than that. Some plans can't be fulfilled until this happens which makes me worry even more.
Kyle has started new hours at his job this week. He is now working 3 days a week from 12pm to 12am. It means more time at home which is nice but him not coming home until late takes some getting use to.
I've never been a fan of change. I like to have plans and stick to them. It gives me security, stability, and comfort. Unfortunately, life is not like that. I am having to learn patience and contentment. I am trying to be patient and content with the way things are knowing that it won't always be this way. I will graduate and one day we will have our own place. Hopefully Kyle will be able to have a more permanent and secure job soon so that we can start saving more.
These things can be frustrating and discouraging but such is life. I know that I need to be patient, find contentment with where I am now, and trust that God is sovereign even over my little plans. I can find security, stability and comfort in knowing that God is in control and is looking out for us. Everything will be okay.
I had planned to go to China in March but that fell through. I don't have the time or focus to raise money right now. There are too many other things going on right now . . . not to mention still being a newlywed! I'll have to fulfill my mission practicum trip later and I am okay with that.
What was much harder to accept was the fact that I won't be graduating until December 2011. I was planning on graduating in May 2011 but I found out that I had more classes to take than I thought. In order to graduate in May I would have to take 17 hours next semester. Kyle and I both agreed that 17 hours would be too much work and very hard to schedule around his job. So, I will be adding an Education minor to my degree so that I will have 24 hours left to take which means 12 hours next semester and 12 hours the following semester. Though it is disappointing to have to drag this out longer I know it will work out better. I get to add another minor of interest and will still receive financial aid. What really stinks however is that even though I will finish my degree requirements in December 2011, I won't actually graduate until May 2012. Criswell does not have a December graduation and I will not be given my diploma unless I have a special need. So I will have to wait 5 months to actually receive my diploma and be considered a graduate. I think that's stupid but there's nothing I can do about it. I think I've come to accept it but it's still annoying.
I love my in-laws and I appreciate them letting Kyle and I live with them but I am anxious for us to have our own place. I want a clean and organized house where I can put things where I want them and decorate how I like. The plan is to save up money and move out next year but I'm worried it might take longer than that. Some plans can't be fulfilled until this happens which makes me worry even more.
Kyle has started new hours at his job this week. He is now working 3 days a week from 12pm to 12am. It means more time at home which is nice but him not coming home until late takes some getting use to.
I've never been a fan of change. I like to have plans and stick to them. It gives me security, stability, and comfort. Unfortunately, life is not like that. I am having to learn patience and contentment. I am trying to be patient and content with the way things are knowing that it won't always be this way. I will graduate and one day we will have our own place. Hopefully Kyle will be able to have a more permanent and secure job soon so that we can start saving more.
These things can be frustrating and discouraging but such is life. I know that I need to be patient, find contentment with where I am now, and trust that God is sovereign even over my little plans. I can find security, stability and comfort in knowing that God is in control and is looking out for us. Everything will be okay.
Monday, November 1, 2010
I Love Being a Woman!
"You know the depths of my heart and still love me the same/You are amazing God..."
This past weekend was a blast! The girls leadership retreat went really well and it was just fun to be with a bunch of girls. Though I was there as a leader to hang out with the "retreaters" I found myself being encouraged and refreshed.
It was a year or so ago when I learned how amazing it is to be a woman and how dear to the Lord's heart I am. I read the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge and it opened up my eyes to my role as a woman and the fact that the way I feel and respond to the world is something I share with all women. I long to unveil beauty, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to be wanted, needed, pursued. And like all women, I live in fear of being too much or not enough. I strive to be just right but I always miss the mark. . .so I hide and pretend and hope that no one ever discovers how tired, how lonely, and how desperate I really am.
It was amazing to read this book because it felt like the authors had peered into my heart and where writing about me. And in a way, they were. It was so good to know that I wasn't alone in these desires, thoughts, and fears. And it was even better to discover that all of these desires (the desire to be seen, to unveil beauty, to be loved, pursued, and a part of a romantic adventure) was put within me by God Himself. I am like this because I was made in His image. My very essence is beauty because my Creator is Beauty. I bear the part of God's image that is beautiful, romantic, soft, gentle, emotional, relational, and feminine. Creation was not complete without woman, in fact it wasn't even good. God made woman because it was not good for man to be alone. God made woman to be his helpmate, to be his life sustainer. That is an amazing role to have! I appreciate it even more now that I am married. When my husband tells me how much he loves me and what an incredible woman I am it reminds me of the role I play in his life. It is a role no one else can play in the way that I can. The romantic side of me finds it simply wonderful and hopelessly romantic.
I was also reminded this weekend that though my husband loves me like no other man ever has, God knows the deepest depths of my heart and still loves me the same. I have an amazing husband but an even more amazing God. The fact that both my God and my husband will love me whether I am too much or not enough in this world makes me a very blessed woman.
I love being a woman!
"He is jealous for me/Loves like a hurricane/I am a tree/Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy/When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory/and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me/How He loves us/Oh how He loves us/Oh how He loves us/How He loves us all"
This past weekend was a blast! The girls leadership retreat went really well and it was just fun to be with a bunch of girls. Though I was there as a leader to hang out with the "retreaters" I found myself being encouraged and refreshed.
It was a year or so ago when I learned how amazing it is to be a woman and how dear to the Lord's heart I am. I read the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge and it opened up my eyes to my role as a woman and the fact that the way I feel and respond to the world is something I share with all women. I long to unveil beauty, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to be wanted, needed, pursued. And like all women, I live in fear of being too much or not enough. I strive to be just right but I always miss the mark. . .so I hide and pretend and hope that no one ever discovers how tired, how lonely, and how desperate I really am.
It was amazing to read this book because it felt like the authors had peered into my heart and where writing about me. And in a way, they were. It was so good to know that I wasn't alone in these desires, thoughts, and fears. And it was even better to discover that all of these desires (the desire to be seen, to unveil beauty, to be loved, pursued, and a part of a romantic adventure) was put within me by God Himself. I am like this because I was made in His image. My very essence is beauty because my Creator is Beauty. I bear the part of God's image that is beautiful, romantic, soft, gentle, emotional, relational, and feminine. Creation was not complete without woman, in fact it wasn't even good. God made woman because it was not good for man to be alone. God made woman to be his helpmate, to be his life sustainer. That is an amazing role to have! I appreciate it even more now that I am married. When my husband tells me how much he loves me and what an incredible woman I am it reminds me of the role I play in his life. It is a role no one else can play in the way that I can. The romantic side of me finds it simply wonderful and hopelessly romantic.
I was also reminded this weekend that though my husband loves me like no other man ever has, God knows the deepest depths of my heart and still loves me the same. I have an amazing husband but an even more amazing God. The fact that both my God and my husband will love me whether I am too much or not enough in this world makes me a very blessed woman.
I love being a woman!
"He is jealous for me/Loves like a hurricane/I am a tree/Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy/When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory/and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me/How He loves us/Oh how He loves us/Oh how He loves us/How He loves us all"
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